Each wedding is so special to me and always stands out in my memory for a few reasons. First, and foremost, is the relationship I’ve been honored to build with the couple. There is no wedding ceremony without them. After that are the truly beautiful venues these amazing weddings take place – case in point, the gorgeous, historic Roberts Mansion & Urban Estate in Spokane, Washington. Finally, there are the truly exceptional wedding professionals that I’m fortunate to work with. Here are some of my favorite reflections from this sweet, intimate family wedding.
Wedding cake with “It was always you” cake topper and autumn-themed flowers. PC Abby Muir Photography.
Austyn and Marisa – “It was always you.”
Austyn and Marisa are a very sweet couple that I was honored to “meet” virtually in the spring before their Autumn wedding. Marisa told me their special quote that they really wanted to have as the theme for their ceremony was “It was always you,” because it was. Their marriage was a decade in the making.
Fast friends = best friends
During our initial zoom meeting, they told me that they had met the 2nd day of 5th grade and became fast, best friends. Many afternoons after school saw Austyn at Marisa’s house, watching TV, doing homework, playing games – just hanging out.
First date to the ‘always’ date
Then, in 7th grade, they had their first “date” at Austyn’s house where they had Papa Murphy’s pepperoni pizza and watched Cake Boss with Austyn’s mom. Their young relationship continued through middle and high school, even when Marisa moved to Spokane. Although they contemplated a break-up as a couple, they couldn’t imagine not being best friends anymore, so twice a month, Austyn found himself making a long trek (sometimes via Greyhound) from the Seattle area to Spokane and home just so they could be together. Finally, when Marisa turned 18, she moved back to Seattle and graduated from high school with Austyn and their other classmates.
Planning a lifetime together
Fast forward a few more years…living in their home in Washington, being together day to day, preparing for the rest of their life together. Who wouldn’t want to be part of their wedding day?! Austyn and Marisa LOVE to laugh and its infectious. They are also kind and so in love with one another. Over the months of planning their ceremony, I saw multiple examples of this, but one I want to share here is so sweet. You see, Marisa had always wanted a pearl necklace so Austyn made that dream a reality on their wedding day. With the most beautiful, tender hearted note for his beloved, he gifted Marisa with a lovely strand of pearls. Marisa wore them on their wedding day and Austyn saw them around her neck for the first time as she walked up the aisle.
Austyn’s tender hearted gift to his beloved. “You are without a doubt, the most gorgeous woman I have ever met. I got you this as a symbol of your forever timeless beauty <3.” PC Abby Muir Photography at Roberts Mansion & Urban Estate
Austyn and Marisa – their day…
The day of their wedding was a gorgeous September day in Eastern Washington…beautiful sunshine and not too hot. The venue, Roberts Mansion, is a 120+ year old historic mansion located in the Brown’s Addition of Spokane, Washington. It has a stunning, walled garden (back yard) perfect for elopements, weddings and other events that need a little shade and privacy. Marisa had always wanted to have a wedding here.
There were actually several things that stood out to me during this ceremony and because I couldn’t choose just one, I decided to include all the ones that are STILL standing out in my mind.
First Reflection – a beautiful “Boho” paradise
First, the incredible detail and beautiful design and decoration of this wedding still stand out to me. Marisa’s mom worked with the Coordinator at the Roberts Mansion to transform the event space from a lush, shaded back yard into a beautiful, romantic, “boho” paradise. The couple had chosen gorgeous autumn colors of forest green, rust and purple as their colors and the wedding party (and most of the guests) dressed in those colors. The effect was truly beautiful and felt just like fall in the Pacific Northwest.
As the wedding started, the guests were seated. The groom, Austyn was in his spot waiting for his beautiful Marisa. Standing behind him, I could see and feel his nerves as well as the tears of joy as she was escorted up the aisle. Once his best friend and future wife arrived in front of him, they held hands and closed their eyes. I grounded everyone in the moment and then they were ready. They both had tears in their eyes and the very biggest of smiles. Talk about a joyful moment for everyone!
Third Reflection – A tardy guest arrives in the “knick” of time.
Just as we were getting ready to pronounce Austyn and Marisa married and have them kiss, a late guest arrived and walked straight through the wedding party and up the aisle, taking center stage…
A tardy guest. PC Abby Muir PhotographyMaking his way through the crowd. PC Abby Muir Photography
Rather than being shocked or irritated by this, our couple thought it was brilliant! Both passionate cat lovers (with three at home), Austyn shouted, “I was hoping he’d come back for the ceremony!” We allowed the tardy but very welcome guest to join the festivities. I then pronounced Austyn and Marisa married, they kissed and as they danced up the aisle, their family and friends stood and cheered!
Then…on to what is probably (to me), the most important part of a couple’s wedding ceremony…the part that makes them legally and officially married…the signing of the Marriage Certificate. Don’t get me wrong – as your Celebrant, I am all about the ceremony, the vows, the ring exchange AND the pronouncement in front of family, friends and witnesses. However, I also believe that as a couple, you are making a legal commitment to one another, so the signing of the certificate is just as important as the rest. I loved that they were both so happy to sign the ‘paperwork’. Look at that smile on Austyn’s face.
Signing the Marriage Certificate upstairs in the bridal suite at Roberts Mansion & Urban Estate – now it’s official! PC Abby Muir Photography
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Saunders for the honor of celebrating your magical autumn wedding. It was truly a joy filled day! I wish you both (and now little Master Saunders) daily celebrations of love for a lifetime.
The Wedding Team
A quick note about the venue:
Roberts Mansion & Urban Estate – Spokane’s Historic Bed, Breakfast & Event Center – www.ejrobertsmansion.com The 24-room mansion was built in 1889, and was one of Spokane’s premiere homes. Featuring granite window trim, spindle work in the gables and a prominent turret, the Mansion is one of the best examples of Queen Anne architecture in Spokane. Seasonally, the gardens are lush and worthy of a park-like stroll. Inside you will find beautifully appointed suites complete with antique furnishings, private balconies, claw-foot tubs, and modern amenities. Roberts Mansion is also conveniently located just one block from local restaurants and bars, a 3-minute walk from the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture, and a 5-minute walk to downtown Spokane. With its rich history and romantic charm, The Roberts Mansion + Urban Estate is the perfect setting for your next elopement, wedding or other celebratory or even corporate event.
And the Photographer:
Abby Muir Photography – http://www.abbymuirphotography.com/ Abby is an elopement + wedding photographer living in Spokane Washington with her husband, their dog, Blu and the two gorgeous little humans. They love spending time in the outdoors and enjoying all the amazing views the Pacific Northwest has to offer. While Spokane is Abby’s home base, she also loves to travel and visit new places so don’t fret if you’re not close by!
Photo credit Roxanne Best
Finally about Chanelle:
Chanelle Carlin is a Washington State Elopement and Intimate Wedding Officiant and Your Celebrant for Life. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, coach, and owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Believing that life and love should be celebrated every minute, she collaborates with couples who’ve already started building the foundations of their relationship over the years and are now ready to venture forth into marriage with a custom, memorable (for all the right reasons) elopement/intimate wedding ceremony. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest and Ireland primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry (especially Spokane). As your Celebrant for Life, Chanelle also celebrates all the special milestones and moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and totally LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.
Exchanging rings during an intimate Family Wedding at Coulee Dam, WA
A Wedding Officiant for All People
As a wedding officiant, it is one of the real pleasures of my job to become a chameleon for my couples. What do I mean by this? I mean that every couple- their history, customs, religion, culture, orientation -is different and unique, and should be honored. The uniqueness of their love is honored largely by their wedding officiant on their wedding or elopement day.
Contact Chanelle about Officiating Your Ceremony. – pc: Roxanne Best
Your wedding officiant is more than just the person who helps you legalize your marriage. They are more than a moderator for a wedding ceremony. They are storytellers. They are given the great privilege of understanding what is important to a couple, where they came from, where they are going, and who they are, together and separate, in all aspects.
Officiant for a Traditional Native Ceremony
I was honored to officiate my husband’s cousin’s wedding ceremony in Coulee Dam, Washington. Each couple that asks me to officiate their wedding honors me. This wedding was even more so, because it was family and also because I was asked to participate in a sacred, traditional, native joining ceremony. I have never witnessed this kind of ceremony before, let alone had a part to play in it.
It was a bright, warm, sunny spring day – the equinox, actually. Brenda and Jason’s big moment was actually six years in the making. Children were outside in the front yard waiting, and adults were inside the house preparing food, arranging chairs, also waiting patiently. Soon enough, we heard the bell. The ringing bell says it is time! It’s time to come together. It’s time to begin. It’s time to join this couple and their families together.
Every Aspect was Sacred
Jason and Brenda honoring their children
As we gathered indoors, we moved to our separated seating areas: Women on the left. Men on the right. Every aspect of this ceremony was a tradition passed down. From an elder between the two seating areas praying as the ceremony commenced, to every song that was sung. After three songs, which initiated the ceremony, the wedding party began to enter.
First to enter was the groom, Jason, dressed in his traditional wedding clothes. As he came forward toward the elder, he was escorted by his eldest son, Chris. They gracefully danced around the wedding blanket on the floor and took their places in front of where the women guests were seated.
Next, wearing her beautiful, red traditional wedding dress, the bride, Brenda, entered with her eldest son, Jaymon and eldest daughter, Monica. The couple was then joined by their remaining five children. The elder offered prayer and songs and then called the elders of the two families forward to exchange gifts.
This gift exchange is an acknowledgment that they all support the marriage of Jason and Brenda. In previous generations, they may have exchanged horses, but on this day, they exchanged beautiful Pendleton blankets and shawls chosen specifically for the occasion.
Every Wedding I Officiate Makes Me Better at Living my Purpose
On a personal note, I can share that as I stood, watching, listening and taking part in the traditional joining ceremony and waiting for my part as the officiant, I felt wholly inadequate. I felt underdressed, and quite nervous. I so wanted to make sure Brenda and Jason’s wedding was all they hoped and dreamed it would be. They had waited six years and been through much alone and together.
With each couple, whose wedding I am honored to officiate, I spend time getting to know them and to learn more of their story. I learn about the details that most people don’t know: their dreams, their fears, their favorite things about each other and their frustrations. Then, we create their sacred ceremony.
Every couple who works with me deserves their own version of a sacred ceremony. I spend time with them to learn what’s most important for them? For Brenda and Jason, it was always about their family and their children – all eight of them. Their lives revolve around them. Their ceremony should, therefore, include and honor their children and all children of the family.
A beautiful, blended family
One more song, then onto the second part of the ceremony…my part. This included sharing their story, leading them through their vows to each other, to their children and finally, after six long years, pronouncing them legally married! Even at this moment, this brings tears to my eyes!
Even though this was the first wedding of this traditional background I had ever done, when it came time to do the work, I felt at ease and well capable. I have officiated more than a hundred weddings that have brought a couple’s unique journey to life, and honored them. This was no different!
In my process, I take the time to deep dive into my couples’ stories. This allows me to connect, to envision, to fully comprehend, and embody. I may not have come from the same heritage or cultural experience as Brenda and Jason, but I was certainly able to learn, to listen, and to celebrate them and all that they are. After the ceremony and the vows were spoken, I watched Jason, Brenda and their guests as they took in the last of my storytelling and the sacred vows. Watching the love and joy fill the room filled me with so much gratitude for what I get to be a part of.
After the Vows were Spoken
After a blur of hugs, laughter, photos, and congratulations, the groom called everyone to the tables with the sacred bell. As their officiant, Brenda and Jason had me sitting at their left, in a place of honor. This gave me a chance to ask lots of questions, which Brenda kindly answered for me. I have to say, I felt just like I did the first time I traveled to Europe in my 20’s. It’s so exciting to experience and admire traditions from other cultures.
Once the guests were seated, a prayer was sung, the tables were set, water was poured and food was served. Once the food was placed on the tables, the daughters joined the family at the table, the groom again rang the bell and sang in prayer. He then explained what would happen next. He would call for the water, we would drink. He would call out the traditional foods, we would honor each and then we would eat what we needed to nourish ourselves. Food was passed around in a traditional manner, and then we were encouraged to join in feasting and speech-making!
Find a Wedding Officiant Who will Celebrate You
I could go on and on about how much it meant to me to be a part of this ceremony. To be embraced in such a sacred tradition, such a precious event, was truly a privilege. I aspire to learn and grow from every wedding officiating experience I have. What can I take from this experience into the next? What have I learned? What will I remember? I want to speak to any couple who has found their way here! If you have not yet found your wedding or elopement officiant, I encourage you to think about the following things:
What about your history, traditions, customs, culture, make you and your partner, together and individually unique? Is it important to you that these things be honored on your wedding day?
Do you dream of having a custom wedding ceremony written for you that honors the details and nuance of your story?
Imagine having a wedding officiant who creates a custom wedding ceremony that makes you laugh, cry, brings you down memory lane, and makes you feel completely understood. On that believes as strongly in the success of your marriage as they do your wedding day.
I would be honored to talk with you and answer any questions you may have as you journey forth in choosing an officiant and planning your elopement or wedding ceremony. Please feel free to reach out!
Photo credit Roxanne Best
About Chanelle:
Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, coach, and owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Believing that life and love should be celebrated every minute, she collaborates with couples who’ve already started building the foundations of their relationship over the years and are now ready to venture forth into marriage with a custom, memorable (for all the right reasons) elopement/intimate wedding ceremony. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest and Ireland primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry. As their Celebrant for Life, Chanelle also celebrates all the special milestones and moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and totally LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.
Have you thought about who will officiate your wedding? It’s a question that often gets overlooked in the excitement of wedding planning—until someone (like your photographer, planner, or even your mom) brings it up. Whether you’re just starting to plan your dream ceremony or you’re deep into the details and realizing you still need an officiant, don’t panic.
In this blog post, we’ll explore everything you need to know about wedding officiants, including:
What exactly is the role of a Wedding Officiant?
Do you really need one?
What should you consider when planning your ceremony?
Take a deep breath, and let’s dive in! Your journey to creating a meaningful, personalized, and stress-free wedding ceremony starts here.
Where Do We Start?! Do we need an Officiant for our wedding?
Take time to enjoy just being engaged
First, though, before we get into all things Officiant related, I’d like to add my congratulations on your engagement to the many you have already (I’m sure) received! This is an amazing time and planning your wedding should be fun. You’re preparing a celebration to begin the rest of your lives together. If you haven’t already, take some time away from planning to just breathe and enjoy the bliss of your engagement.
Please don’t try to do everything yourself
Now that you’ve taken some time just the two of you to enjoy being engaged, let’s chat about wedding planning. I receive a lot of questions from newly engaged couples who don’t even know where to start thinking about their wedding event, let alone their ceremony (the part during which they actually get married) and they start feeling stressed. Fortunately, while there IS a lot to consider when planning a wedding and putting together a wedding ceremony, you don’t have to do everything by yourself.
In fact, for every part of your special day, there is a wedding professional available and desiring to assist you: Wedding Venues, Wedding Planners, Florists, Stylists, and Stationary designers, Party Rentals, Caterers, Bakers, DJ’s, Musicians, Photographers, Videographers, Jewelers, Tailors, Retailers, Hotels AND, of course Officiants (the person who actually does the “marrying part”. 🙂 Thankfully, most of the time, each wedding pro can lead you to another. If you’re looking for a specific wedding professional to help with your special day here in the PNW, please let me know. I have contacts with a lot of amazing professionals.
A Wedding Officiant IS required.
You can start with whomever you want, but my suggestion is that you start with the two of you and your preferred date(s), type of wedding (elopement, intimate wedding, large family gathering, something in between), and the location. Once you have those, I’d suggest finding your officiant, a wedding planner and your photographer. Notice that I mention finding your Officiant first. Of all the professionals couples must have for their wedding, the only one required to get married is an officiant. All of the other wedding pros will help make your event beautiful, special and as stressless as possible, but they aren’t required to get married; in most cases, a Wedding Officiant is.
We’re Eloping – Do we still need an Officiant?
Another question that comes up from couples is related to elopements. This is a bit of a tricky question, because elopements can look and feel like a lot of different things depending on who you’re talking to. I discuss this in a bit more depth on my podcast if you want to check it out. However, the answer is generally the same. In all but eight states (and Washington DC), which allow self-solemnization, couples who want to marry (even if they elope) must have an Officiant. Even in those states though, there are varying requirements for witnesses and documentation.
A Wedding Officiant’s primary role – making sure you’re legal.
Now that you know you need one, let’s clarify the role of a wedding officiant. As your Wedding Officiant, my primary role is to make sure you’re legally married. Yep. It’s a thing. I am legally bound to ensure that you say and do certain things on your wedding day in a proscribed manner.
For instance, in the states of the Pacific Northwest, a couple needs to declare out loud, their desire to marry and that they’re entering into this “agreement” of their own free will.
In the State of Washington, they are also required to obtain a Marriage License from a county auditor. Oregon and Idaho have similar regulations. On the day of your wedding, you have to sign your marriage certificate with two witnesses and your officiant. Afterward, your Officiant is legally required to return the official, signed Marriage Certificate to the county to be recorded.
It may seem like no big deal. It’s just a piece of paper. For some, that is the case, until it isn’t. There are many instances where couples’ documents were not recorded, and they have no proof that they were legally married. I officiated a ceremony recently for a couple who had been together for decades, married for ten years and have four children together. They needed proof of their marriage for retirement purposes, but didn’t have it…so we made a big celebration of it on their anniversary, and I made sure it was recorded the next day.
A Wedding Officiant’s Role – Crafting your ceremony and helping with vows
Aside from the legal requirement, another part of your officiant’s role is to create a ceremony that fits your personalities and vision for your perfect celebration. Whether your vision for your ceremony is one that just gets you married and on to the party with your family and friends, or you desire a deeply personal and meaningful elopement or intimate ceremony (my favorites), your officiant can help you. It’s one of my favorite things to do…get to know you as individuals and as a couple and then craft a ceremony that is truly meaningful to you both so that when you look back on your wedding day, the ceremony stands out as one of your favorite parts of the day.
When you’re thinking about your ceremony, most couples think about their vows, as you should. After all, a marriage is more than a legal contract between two people. You’re each making a commitment to one another for life. You’re saying that you’re going to be there with and for each other for the days, weeks, months and years to come…no matter what. How you choose to voice those promises during your wedding ceremony is something the two of you want to decide together and talk about with your Officiant. This is another very important part of your Officiant’s role during the ceremony creation process: to make sure that you have support determining what type of vows you want to exchange and if you want to share personal vows, they can help you get started writing them.
A Wedding Officiant’s Role – Celebrating your nuptials
Celebrating your ceremony is where most couples think about the role of a Wedding Officiant. Even if you haven’t been to many weddings, you may have seen a movie, television show with a couple at the front of a church or wedding venue exchanging vows with a minister. Often that is the only interaction many have had with a Wedding Officiant until it comes time for their wedding. As a Wedding Officiant, celebrating my couples’ wedding ceremonies is truly one of the highlights of my day.
Tips from a professional Wedding Officiant to help ensure your ceremony is the highlight of your wedding day:
To make sure your ceremony is the highlight of your wedding day, here are a few things to think about. You’ll also want to discuss them with your Officiant:
How do you want your ceremony to feel for you and your guests? If you start here, your Officiant can help you with the rest.
Do you want a faith-based ceremony? Non-religious? A combination? multi-cultural? themed?
Would you like an outdoor ceremony or indoor ceremony?
Do you want a large event that includes all your family and friends? Or, do you prefer an intimate affair with just a few?
How many people (if any) do you want to be in your wedding party?
Do you want any readings or music before or during the ceremony? These add to the feel, without adding to the length of your ceremony
Would you like some traditional vows, to create your own vows or have a combination of the two? and
What type of unity ritual you would like (if any)? This is a great way to honor your family/ cultural backgrounds.
Length of your ceremony can be impacted by a number of factors
Most non-religious ceremonies officiated by professional officiants take around 15-20 minutes to complete. If you have a lot of elements (readings, live music , etc) it may go a little longer, but not much. I officiated a ceremony for a couple joining both of their families and together they had seven children. The couple wanted each of the children to have a role in the ceremony. With that, their ceremony still only took 30 minutes.
Another factor that may add to the length of your ceremony is escorting elderly or disabled relatives during the processional. It may add a minute or two, but your gesture of love will be most appreciated.
Let’s Recap
Your wedding ceremony is the heart of your special day. Your Wedding Officiant plays a key role in making it legal, personal, and unforgettable. From ensuring all the legalities are covered to crafting a ceremony that reflects your unique love story, an experienced Officiant supports you every step of the way. Whether you’re exchanging deeply personal vows or keeping it simple, your wedding should feel authentic to who you are as a couple.
If you’re ready to start planning your perfect ceremony? Let’s chat! Visit Chanelle Carlin Weddings or send me a message—I’d love to help you create a day you’ll cherish forever.
Photo credit: Roxanne Best
About Chanelle:
Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for LifeTM. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, coach, owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Chanelle is also the host of Now You May Kiss Podcast with Chanelle Carlin. She believes that life and love should be celebrated every minute. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry. As their Celebrant for Life, Chanelle also celebrates the moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and totally LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, Linked In or Pinterest.
Why & How to Care for Yourself Leading up to Your Big Day
There are so many ways to practice self-care before your wedding but the main thing to understand is why. You’re planning your wedding. It’s going to be beautiful, and special and you’ve been thinking about it for years. You want it to be perfect, so you and your partner need to take care of yourselves (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually). It’s just that there is SO much to do beforehand…even when you have your wedding team in place, it can feel overwhelming. I know.
Well, as your officiant, one of my promises to you is to encourage you in your self-care, so here I am, doing just that. There are lots of easy things that you both can do to take care of your mind, body and spirit and if you’re wanting help along the way, I’ve got you covered there too.
Physical
Sleep
Staying up all night watching IG videos or pinning your favorite wedding decor might sound like a good idea, but it’s really not good for sleeping. Studies have shown that the blue light from your phone suppresses melatonin, which keeps you from sleeping well and ultimately feeling refreshed, not to mention possible connections with diseases such as diabetes.
The best thing to do? Start a sleep schedule where you try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day (even on the weekends). And, as far as the blue light, aim to put down all your electronics 2-3 hours before bedtime (OK – at LEAST half an hour before bed).
One of the things I have found helpful is to put down/shut off the electronics, an hour before bed. This is a great time to take care of final tasks in the kitchen or around the house, grab a cup of herbal tea, wash my face and brush my teeth. All of that takes me about 45 minutes and by then, I am calm and ready to sleep, my house feels ready for the morning and my skin is ready for nightly rejuvenation. If I’m still a bit awake, I will read a book (old-fashioned kind – no electronic versions).
Sleep, good sleep is vital
Nutrition
I know…there is so much to do in our daily lives even without planning a wedding that our nutrition can get off track. However, when we don’t eat properly, there are all kinds of potential impacts: weight gain, weight loss, digestive trouble, skin irritation and dark circles, stress, frustration, injury and illness to name a few. Some basic things to try:
Less is More:
Drink less caffeine (we PNW folks LOVE our coffee and tea), alcohol and pop – there is a lot of sodium in sodas.
Drink MORE water – this will keep your skin hydrated as well as keep your digestive system working the way it is designed to.
Increase your fresh veggie and fruit intake (mostly veggies), even by a little bit. Our bodies thrive when they get treated to fresh food. It also helps the hair, skin and digestion.
Decrease processed foods as much as possible. I love pizza as much as the next person, but it’s not good for us to eat it every day, or even twice a week.
I am once again working with and using Isagenix cleanse products because I LOVE knowing that I am giving my body the nutritional support it needs with products I know are life-changing (they already have been for me). If you’re interested in learning more, you can visit my website here. If you have questions, I will be happy to answer them and share my story in more detail.
Exercise
So…did you already join the gym? Are you going as often as you planned? If yes, you’re a rockstar and well done!
If not, that’s ok. I don’t judge. I have bought more gym memberships that went unused in my lifetime than I care to think about. BUT… exercise/movement is important for a healthy body, mind and spirit.
I prefer to go for walks, hikes, and dance around my kitchen and living room when no one is watching. I even play ball with my cat (I know it sounds weird, but he loves to race them). These activities don’t have to take a lot of time. Just 10-15 minutes at a go, can be beneficial. Let’s be honest, with as much time as most of us scroll social media, we can usually find 10 minutes for a quick game of chase the ball with the cat…I mean stroll around the block.
Taking care of your skin
You’re most likely having some photos taken at your wedding. Lack of sleep, poor nutrition and stress can really take a toll on our skin. Since I know that you want your photos to show your natural, just married glow, try to prioritize a skincare routine. Ideally, twice per day, you should cleanse and moisturize, but if that is too much, at LEAST do it before bed. Our skin cells rejuvenate overnight when our bodies are sleeping. Washing and moisturizing before that just aids in that process.
I recently became a brand ambassador for a luxury skincare line that also has a super yummy, drinkable collagen. My skin feels AMAZING (I live in the desert and have been experiencing dry skin for years), my dark circles and dark spots on my forehead and hands are almost gone).
Emotional
Emotional self-care is just as important as taking care of our physical health. Our minds and hearts need attention too.
Time Together
Date night
How about Date Night once a week?
Wedding planning can become all-consuming, so I encourage you and your partner to take a night, once a week if possible, and go out here so you don’t talk about the wedding. Just have fun, laugh, tell jokes, talk about work (right?!), maybe even go for a walk or a hike and take care of some physical self-care at the same time.
“You” Time
time for a bubble bath
Sometimes we are so busy taking care of our partner, the kids, the parents, working, planning a wedding, and answering questions from everyone else, that we forget that we need to have time alone too. You know, just to breathe and BE. This is a great time to lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bubble bath. Turn on some music, SOAK and relax.
Time with Friends
After you’re done having your “You” time, maybe try some time with friends just to relax and NOT talk wedding stuff. How about a movie or girls’ hike or even a spa day (pedicure?).
self care time with the girls – pc Joel Muniz (via unsplash.com)
Don’t estimate the power of time with your girlfriends/guy friends. Yes, guys need to practice self-care too and they need time with their buddies.
self-care round of golf with the boys – pc Getty Images/creator pixelfit
To-Do Lists
All this time talking about not talking about wedding stuff may have you thinking, yeah, but Chanelle, I have a wedding to plan and I can’t NOT talk about it or DO wedding things. I get it, but I also know how deep the rabbit hole can get sometimes, so I recommend setting aside a certain number of hours per week for wedding research/planning/doing AND I recommend sticking to that allotted amount of time. Keep track of things you want to get done in your wedding planning notebook or “to-do list”.
To Do List…
Best Self Care Idea Yet – Get Support
Hire a Wedding Planner. I promise you that the amount of stress, energy and emotional overwhelm that you will save by having a wedding planner will far outweigh any money you spend. These folks are awesome and like your officiant (yours truly), they live for weddings. The things it takes you hours to find and do, take them no time at all. Their whole job is to alleviate your stress and help your vision for your wedding come to life. AND…there is a wedding planner for every budget (I promise). If you would like a recommendation for an amazing PNW Wedding planner, let me know. I work with some incredible, talented and creative people.
Even if you decide not to go with a wedding planner, ask for help when you need it! Your family, friends, and bridal party will happily help you plan and take things off your plate when it all gets to be too much.
Spiritual
As I said at the beginning, self-care includes caring e for our body, mind and spirit. For some, this can mean worship and time at church or temple. For others, it may look a little less structured.
Meditation/journaling/prayer
Taking a few moments to decompress each day will help keep you sane. Even if you just take 5 minutes to center yourself and focus on the day ahead. I generally set aside an hour each day for my devotional time (reading scripture, and prayer). I have also found that just taking 15 minutes a day to write down all I am thankful for that day and in that moment helps me feel more peaceful.
Walking
Couple walking. Photo by Catalin Paterau on Unsplash.com
I’m a HUGE fan of walking and not just for exercise, but to clear my head. I’ve also managed to solve all the world’s problems on more than one long walk. Your walks don’t even have to be long ones or even overly speedy. By getting out for 10-15 minutes at a time, you may find your stress level going down and your energy going up. In the winter, if it is too cold outside, I walk the halls of our house just to ‘get my steps in’.
Monthly Treats
We all have something we love to treat ourselves to. When you’re planning a wedding, it’s always nice to take the time to take care of yourself. If you love a great massage or a mani/pedi, treat yourself to one. Maybe it’s decadent dark chocolate (my favorite) or an insanely good book. Enjoy this time of your life in every way possible!
As I mentioned above, self-care is vital for you and your partner every day. It’s especially important for you both to truly enjoy the wedding planning process and your most amazingly beautiful wedding day. I hope some of the information and tips in this article have been or will be helpful to you. If you would like further support or clarification, please reach out and let me know.
I only link to products and services I think you will love. Some of the links on my site are monetized. If you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a commission. This helps me build a residual income and keep bringing great content to you! However, all opinions expressed are my own.
Photo credit Roxanne Best
Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, coach, and owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Chanelle believes that life and love should be celebrated every minute. She collaborates with couples who’ve already started building the foundations of their relationship over years and are now ready to venture forth into marriage with a custom, memorable elopement/intimate wedding ceremony. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest and Ireland primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry. As their Celebrant for Life, Chanelle celebrates the special milestones and moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.
A Wedding Ceremony Planning Framework to help you create your perfect ceremony.
As a professional Wedding Officiant, I receive a lot of questions from couples who don’t even know where to start thinking about their wedding event, let alone their ceremony (the part during which they actually get married) and they start feeling stressed. Fortunately, while there can be a lot to consider when planning a wedding and putting together a wedding ceremony, you don’t have to do everything by yourself.
In fact, for every part of your special day, there is a wedding professional available and desiring to assist you: Wedding Venues, Wedding Planners, Florists, Stylists, and Stationary designers, Party Rentals, Caterers, Bakers, DJ’s, Musicians, Photographers, Videographers Jewelers, Tailors, Retailers, Hotels AND, of course Officiants. Each professional can lead you to another.
The emails from stressed couples often start like this:
“HELP! We’re getting married. We want a beautiful, simple ceremony that is unique to us, but I don’t even know where to start.”
Where should a couple start?
Choose a date?
Find a location?
Photographer?
Caterer?
Music?
Minister/Officiant/Friend?
Decide what type of wedding to have? Large wedding, intimate wedding, elopement?
Oh My Gosh! There is just so much to think about!
Make Your Ceremony E.P.I.C.
If you’re already feeling the pressure, please know you’re not alone, but also that it doesn’t have to be so stressful. I have spoken with two couples recently who have been engaged a short period of time and whose weddings are more than a year away, and they are already worried about the details. Planning a wedding should be a fun and an enjoyable process for the two of you. Hopefully, after reading this brief article and learning about my wedding ceremony planning framework, E.P.I.C., you’ll be able to relax a bit, enjoy your engagement and let go of the anxieties that planning a wedding can cause for couples. I will also provide some resources for next steps and one very important MUST have, if you intend to be legally married in Washington State.
But first, let’s start with celebrating, shall we? You’re engaged! Congratulations! This is an amazing time and as I said before, planning your wedding should be fun. You’re preparing a celebration to begin the rest of your lives together. If you haven’t already, take some time away from planning to just breathe and enjoy the bliss of your engagement.
There is a lot that goes into planning a wedding ceremony and most couples have never done it before. Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life. Big or small, it doesn’t matter and you want it to be just right and all about the two of you. The idea of E.P.I.C, my wedding ceremony planning framework is to help you create the wedding you dream of with as little stress as possible.
There are four stages to E.P.I.C.: Envision, Plan, Implement and Celebrate. Ready to plan your wedding ceremony?
Stage 1: Envision
Jason and Sheila eloped from Iowa to the Okanogan to get married; Photo credit: Roxanne Best.
Before you tell anyone else, even your parents, your children or your best friends, enjoy the experience together. After all, the two of you have just decided you want to spend the rest of your lives together. You may as well start now. Give yourselves a few days to a few weeks to live in the bliss. Talk about your future together. What do you envision? What will your life look like as a married couple? Why?
Talk about your ideal wedding…How will it look and feel for you? and your guests? Who do you hope to share this day with and why? Are you wanting a faith-based ceremony, completely religious in a church, no religious aspects whatsoever? Will it be outdoors, indoors, something in between?
As the two of you decide what’s most important to you, you’ll be able to answer the questions that your friends and family will ask just as soon as you share your news and your wedding planner and officiant will ask later. Most importantly, enjoy this time together.
Stage 2: Plan
This is where you start thinking about things like a budget, a guest list and thinking about details such as a location, ceremony only or ceremony with reception.
Family Wedding at Sunshine Ranch Wedding Venue, East Wenatchee, WA; Photo credit: Tiffany Joy Photography
You can use our friend, the Internet (aka Google and Pinterest), like Letty and Marc did (above photo) as well as friends who were recently married. Wedding sites such as the Knot, Wedding Wire & Style Me Pretty are just three of the many internet resources for couples (you can google those too). They have checklists, lists of vendors and the capacity for you to create your own wedding website where your guests can go for details. AND…we all know that person whose wedding you attended last month or last year. I bet they would love to share their experiences and maybe even their Pinterest page with you. They know the things you definitely want to do and totally want to avoid. I mean, isn’t that what friends are for?
Leave it to the ‘Pros’
My recommendation is to hire professionals and start with a Wedding Planner and your Officiant (the person responsible for making sure you’re legally married). They can help you define, design, plan and execute your vision for your wedding day and ceremony with little stress to the two of you. Oftentimes, couples tell me that because they’re planning a small wedding or elopement they don’t need a wedding planner or they can just ask a friend or family member to help. While I agree that elopements and intimate weddings have fewer moving parts than larger weddings or multi-day events, planning one still takes a lot of time and energy. Most couples have never planned a wedding before and… they usually work full time at jobs in addition to planning a wedding.
Photo credit: Reid Johnson, Best Made Videos
Wedding Planner
The wedding planner’s role is to help bring YOUR vision for your perfect wedding day and night (overall celebration) to life. I mean, they do this for a living. They help you know what to think about and when, as well as help you manage all the little details and vendors, and they are indispensable on the day of the event. You WILL appreciate the support…trust me. If you can’t swing a professional planner or Day of Coordinator, connect with someone in your life that is excellent at organizing events, just make sure they’re ok with not enjoying your wedding as a guest, because they’ll be busy taking care of you and the details of your day most of the time.
As an example, I recently officiated two weddings in a weekend, one without a planner/coordinator and one with. At the wedding without the coordinator, which was an intimate event with about 20 guests. The groom and his groomsmen were hurriedly building the arch that they wanted to be married in front of an hour before the ceremony was to start at 10:30 a.m. and the bridesmaids were decorating it at the original planned for start time. The bride had had to return home because her dress had been left behind and ended up almost getting a ticket because she was running late. The ceremony started over an hour late.
In contrast, the very next day I officiated a wedding where the couple had asked one of their sisters to be the planner and day of coordinator, even though the bride is extremely organized herself. When I arrived, the entire outdoor area had been transformed into a beautiful wedding venue, the 100+ guests were having a great time mingling and munching on their own blend of trail mix, no one in the bridal party was building anything and everyone was completely relaxed. We signed the marriage certificate, had the ceremony and the couple had a brilliant time just enjoying their guests. Their wedding coordinator managed to get over 16,000 steps in by the time the ceremony ended and the reception was in full swing.
In case you’re still feeling a little anxious and wondering where you find these people; no worries. If you would like the names of some amazing wedding planners, let me know. I will happily ‘hook you up’.
Wedding Officiant
Contact Chanelle about Officiating Your Ceremony. Photo credit: Roxanne Best
Your Wedding Officiant’s role is two-fold, though some, like me, provide a wide variety of related services. They help you create a ceremony that fits your personalities and vision for your perfect wedding, provide expert, caring officiating for you on the day AND just as importantly, more so for some, ensure that your marriage is legal. Yep…that’s a thing and there is paperwork involved.
I can see the ‘deer in headlights’ look now. Wait! I thought the Officiant just showed up on the day, ask a couple of questions, pronounce us married, sign the paper and left!
Well, yes, they can do that if that’s what you’re looking for as a couple. Most of the couples I have officiated for have waited their whole lives to marry this person and they want to start their marriage with a ceremony that is beautiful, meaningful and unique to them. If you think about it, you’re never going to marry each other again and you’ve asked at least two people (your witnesses), or possibly 200 to come share in the experience with you.
I recently saw from another officiant who tracked all the things an Officiant does for their couples (he does custom weddings in Canada). There are actually 36 (yes, thirty-six) different steps from the time we first have our consultation call until you receive your recorded marriage certificate in the mail after you’re married.
You can find wedding officiants the same way you find a wedding planner or a photographer. If you belong to a church or house of worship, you’ve already got someone you can ask. If not, you can ask your friends who’ve gotten married recently, search on Google, Pinterest and internet wedding sites, even ask the county auditor when you get your marriage license (though this is pushing it time wise). As with all wedding professionals, you’ll want to make sure the officiant you choose is a good fit for your personalities as a couple and the services that you’re hoping for and that they can work well with the rest of your wedding team. Talk with them, read reviews from other couples, make sure they’re insured.
That’s ok, we have a friend/family member who will officiate for us.
In Washington State, you can always ask a friend or family member to get ordained and officiate for you. This can be lovely for some couples. My oldest nephew did this for his younger brother’s wedding and it was beautiful. On the other hand, just like asking a friend to plan or photograph your wedding, things can go wrong (really wrong sometimes) and it can add to the stress and sometimes harm a lovely relationship. We’ve all seen those videos where friend officiants told inappropriate stories or jokes during the ceremony, while the couple stood there, visibly uncomfortable. Even more frequently, non-professional officiants back out of weddings (for any number of reasons). It’s hard to imagine, but at least ¼ of the couples I have officiated for have come to me after their friend/family member backed out of officiating for them at the last minute (this was even pre-pandemic). One of my couples had a really tough time. Their first officiant passed away and their second officiant, a friend of the groom’s just stopped responding to them a month before the wedding. By the time they called me, the couple and their family were very distressed and worried they wouldn’t be able to find someone to officiate. The other part to be mindful of with lay (friend/family) officiants is the paperwork. Washington State requires that the officiant return the completed (signed and dated) Certificate of Marriage to the county to be recorded. Professional officiants are used to this, have a policy and a practice of doing this after every wedding so the couple can be assured that they’re legally married. Most dads, uncles and friend officiants don’t, though they can learn and most counties do provide helpful information.
Stage 3: Implement
This is where you start hiring the rest of your wedding team and nailing down all those plans and where having a Wedding Planner can be of HUGE assistance. They have lists of amazing wedding pros, know what to do when to bring your vision to life and will make sure you stay on budget for your event.
Creating the Ceremony
Most ceremonies officiated by professional officiants take around 15-20 minutes to complete on the day of your wedding from the time you enter the ceremony spot until you’re pronounced married. If you have lots of elements, it may go a little longer, but not terribly long. Really, the sky’s the limit when it comes to how you want your wedding ceremony to feel. Just remember that it’s your wedding so it will be beautiful.
While the ceremony may only take 15-20 minutes, the planning and crafting of your unique, custom, E.P.I.C. ceremony takes a bit more energy, time and effort. Remember at the beginning when we talked about the two of you envisioning your wedding before jumping into planning? This is where taking that time together comes in handy.
These are some of the things your Officiant will ask you:
How do you want your ceremony to feel for you and your guests? If you start here, your Officiant can help you with the rest.
Do you want a faith-based ceremony? Non-religious? A combination? multi-cultural? themed?
Would you like an outdoor ceremony or indoor ceremony?
Do you want a large event that includes all your family and friends, or an intimate affair with just a few?
How many people (if any) you want to be in your wedding party?
Do you want any readings or music before or during the ceremony? These add to the feel, without adding to the length of your ceremony…trust me.
Would you like some traditional vows, to create your own vows or have a combination of the two? and
What type of unity ritual you would like (if any)? This is a great way to honor your family/ cultural backgrounds. There are almost as many unity rituals/ceremonies and variations to each as there are people getting married and they can add texture and depth to your wedding ceremony, again without taking a lot of time.
One of the most common is the Handfasting and it can be done as a quick ritual within a more traditional wedding ceremony (tying a knot over the couple’s hands with one cord/ribbon) OR, as one of my couples did, an entire ceremony can be created around the Handfasting, incorporating multiple-colored ribbons, and multiple family members offering blessings, specific to the couple.
Another example of a unity ritual that can be a quick part of a ceremony or the ceremony itself and be a perfect reflection of the couple and their life together is the traditional Jewish Shabbat (Seven Blessings). I have had two couples with brides from Jewish backgrounds and grooms who were not Jewish. Each requested to have the Ritual of Seven Blessings incorporated into their ceremony. One couple had a relaxed outdoor wedding (all the guests stood in a protective semi-circle around the couple) and asked specific family members to read a blessing and share a personal wish for the couple. The second couple had the ritual of the seven blessings as the major part of their ceremony and asked family members to offer the blessings in Hebrew and English while the couple performed a circle dance (symbolically creating their house to protect their new family). Both were beautiful and a unique reflection of the couple.
Lillian and Michael dancing during the Shabbat to “create their house.” Photo credit Tetiana Photography
In order to create a custom, personal wedding ceremony that fits YOUR vision for your day and matches your personalities, your officiant needs to get to know you as much as they can. As I am getting to know my couples, I ask a lot of questions. We start with safe, easy questions:
What are your favorite movies? Favorite music? Fave books?
What do you enjoy doing together as a couple?
What do you enjoy doing on your own or with your friends?
Then we move on to the more mushy stuff:
How did you meet? More than one couple has told me their love story is boring or non-romantic. I ask them to tell me anyway. Whether they met in college, on the internet, or at work, the story is always fun and brings smiles to their faces…now that’s romantic!
What did you do on your first date? Favorite memory from that date?
What made you want a second date with each other?
How long did you date before you got engaged and what did that look like?
One thing almost all couples have in common is that when they “plan” their engagement, it almost NEVER goes according to the plan.
One of my couples planned a helicopter flight over their favorite national park. The groom had the ring in his pocket and intended to ask his beloved in a private space on the flight, but he just couldn’t find the right moment. When they landed afterward, he seized the moment, got down on bended knee with ring in hand and found himself surrounded by on-lookers with phones out.
Another couple planned a trip to Europe. The groom had everything planned for a beautiful hiking proposal, but by the time they were almost to the spot, his bride to be was so hungry/hangry, that she couldn’t go on and needed to turn around and find a burger! It took three more attempts on that trip until just the right “them” moment presented itself. Thankfully, both ladies said yes.
After even more love story related questions, we start talking a bit more about the ceremony and plans for your marriage after the ceremony. After all, there is a whole life that will continue after this one day and all of it helps to create that very unique, magical, ceremony that celebrates your one-of-a-kind love.
That ONE thing you MUST have to be legally married in Washington
Janelle and Tom’s Marriage Certificate; PC Bill Black
I mentioned above that as your officiant it is my role to make sure your marriage is legal. In the State of Washington, you must have a marriage license, which you must obtain as a couple. There is a three-day waiting period to get married once it has been issued, and it’s only valid for 60 days. So, once you receive your marriage certificate, you must wait three days to get married and the marriage must take place before the expiration date of the license. Washington State also requires your officiant, the two of you (the couple) and two witnesses sign the Certificate of Marriage. The Officiant is then required to return it to the county of origin within thirty days (this varies by state). If you have questions about this, remember to talk with your officiant.
A virtual elopement during the pandemic (couple was in San Luis Obispo, California); PC Aaron Black.
Stage 4: Celebrate
Mitch and Christina Celebrate their Marriage at Washington Pass Overlook, Okanogan, WA; PC Forthright Photography
Cue the confetti and balloons.
Finally, after envisioning and planning for this moment and implementing the plan comes the Celebration…the BIG DAY…Your E.P.I.C. wedding day. Your ceremony, your reception/party afterward, your honeymoon AND, don’t forget… your married life together. Yes, then too. The celebrations don’t end with the wedding. Your life together will continue to be filled with special moments worth remembering and celebrating.
Your wedding day is one of the most important days of either of your lives. There is a lot that goes into planning a wedding ceremony and most couples have never done it before. The most important thing to remember is that the two of you have decided that you want to be together and whether you choose to commemorate that with a large family wedding at the ranch or sign your license with your witnesses and officiant in the mountains or at your favorite winery overlooking the lake, it’s YOUR special day and you want it to be meaningful to the two of you, not stressful. There are many, many resources available to help alleviate stress, including amazingly talented and committed wedding professionals and E.P.I.C., my Wedding Ceremony Planning Framework that I’ve shared in this article, but if you start with remembering to breathe and enjoy your engagement together, all will fall into place. Hopefully, rather than a panicked email asking for help, your next email to your officiant might be a thank you or a positive Google review. This is a magical time, and I’m absolutely delighted for you. Best wishes for a lifetime of love. – Chanelle
Photo credit Roxanne Best
About Chanelle:
Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, coach, and owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Believing that life and love should be celebrated every minute, she collaborates with couples who’ve already started building the foundations of their relationship over the years and are now ready to venture forth into marriage with a custom, memorable (for all the right reasons) elopement/intimate wedding ceremony. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest and Ireland primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry. As their Celebrant for Life, Chanelle also celebrates all the special milestones and moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and totally LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.
by Chanelle Carlin, Your Washington Wedding Officiant and Celebrant for LifeTM
As an officiant, each wedding I officiate is so special to me and always stands out in my memory for a few reasons. First and foremost is the relationship I’ve been honored to build with the couple. After all, there is no wedding ceremony without them. After that are the truly beautiful venues – in this case, Gray Bridge Venue in the forests of Sultan, Washington. Last, but certainly not least, are the amazing wedding professionals I’m fortunate to work alongside. Here are some of my favorite reflections from this beautiful spring wedding along with some incredible Gray Bridge Venue photos taken by the very talented, Joanna Monger.
Chanelle Carlin officiating Zack & Brianna’s Intimate Family Wedding at Gray Bridge Wedding Venue, Sultan, WA; PC Joanna Monger Photography
Zack and Brianna are an amazing couple who live in the Los Angeles area of California. I was honored to first “meet” them virtually in the fall before their spring wedding. We spent time getting to know each other long-distance through a couple of Zoom meetings and a bunch of emails. They are sweet, fun, very gracious and down to earth. I love how much respect they have for one another and how much in love they are with each other.
Why Washington and Why Gray Bridge Venue?
One of the questions I asked, is why get married in Washington State and why at Gray Bridge Venue? They both told me how much they LOVE the Pacific Northwest. They love the outdoor lifestyle and their dream is to have a home in the forest one day up in Washington (or maybe Montana). When they decided to finally get married, they started looking for places in Washington that felt like the two of them. Gray Bridge popped up. The first time they visited for the Open House, they knew they definitely wanted to be married there. I also found out that they enjoy wine so when we finally got to meet in person, I brought a bottle from our local winery in Omak.
During their venue walk-through on Valentine’s Weekend, my husband Bill and I got the property tour from then owner of Gray Bridge, Matt McGregor, while Zack and Brianna were confirming logistical details with Keri their wedding planner and Stacy McGregor. Once our tour with Matt was done, and they were finished chatting logistics for a bit, we had time to sit on the benches over-looking the pond where they were planning to say their vows. We chatted, laughed, got to know each other a bit better and confirmed plans for their ceremony.
The Wedding Day arrives
A few months later and we were all back at Gray Bridge Venue. The day of their wedding was a typical spring day in Washington…a mix of rain and sunshine. Thankfully, the folks at Gray Bridge were well prepared for both. Zack and Brianna even had clear umbrellas for their guests in case it rained during the ceremony…which it did, though only just a little bit. Their Wedding Planner, Keri was not worried in the slightest and knew just when the rain was supposed to stop. The big tent was up, the tables were set under the tent, and the DJ, Clinton Dove had all his equipment set up under the tent as well. Everything was well under control.
As the wedding started, the guests were seated, with umbrellas at the ready. The groom, Zack escorted his future mother in law to her seat. He then went back to escort his own parents to their seats and then made his way to the ceremony spot. After Zack was in situ, their Best Man, Ryan and Maid of Honor, Caitlin came down the steps and took their places. Next to come was Colton, the two-year-old ring bearer, extraordinaire, who nearly stole the show.
A Ring Bearer with Personality
When it was little Colton’s time to join the procession, I looked up and saw Wedding Planner, Keri. She was enticing the smartly dressed little gentleman dressed in a Navy Tuxedo along the path, with what I assumed were little candies or snacks. Picture a little bird following a trail of bread crumbs – it was that cute! As Colton got to the aisle and started to walk down, he realized he didn’t have the ring box. Stopping, he turned and went back up the ‘almost too long for his two-year-old legs’ steps. He accepted the ring box from Keri, and one more candy (for good measure). Ring box in hand, he then headed back down the steps toward his date with destiny.
A ring bearer with personality coming down the steps at Gray Bridge Wedding Venue; PC Joanna Monger Photography
As he got to the ceremony spot, he headed over to the best man. Little Colton transferred the box and received his payment…a candy diamond ring lollypop. As he headed back up the steps to sit with his family, Colton clenched his fist around his prize. Laughter exploded from the family all around as he excitedly said, “I NEED this!”
“I NEED this!” Gray Bridge Wedding Venue PC Joanna Monger Photography
A hush fell…
Then, amazingly, a hush fell. Everyone’s attention was diverted. One of the most special things about Gray Bridge Venue, is that guests can see across the pond. Our bride, Brianna gracefully made her entrance through the forest, around the pond to where her father was waiting for her. We were spellbound. It was happening. We got to celebrate what we had come to celebrate…the love and commitment of this amazing couple.
Beautiful Brianna glides around the pond and through the forest, Gray Bridge Wedding Venue; Photo credit Joanna Monger Photography
Brianna’s father, Mark was waiting for her in the forest about half-way around the pond. When Brianna reached him, I invited the guests to stand while Zack continued to face the other direction. Once they arrived at the ceremony spot, I asked Mark if he supported Brianna in her marriage to Zack. (This is a question I ask only if requested by each couple). Mark said he did. I then stepped back into my spot and waited for Brianna and Zack to hug her Dad.
Brianna with her Dad, Mark as they enter the ceremony spot from the forest at Gray Bridge Venue. Photo Credit: Joanna Monger Photography
Once Mark was with the rest of the guests, I had Brianna pass her flowers to her sister, Caitlin. Zack and Brianna held hands. They closed their eyes. I grounded them in the moment with a simple breathing exercise to calm the wedding day nerves. Once they opened their eyes, they only saw each other. When they told me they were ready, we continued with the rest of their beautifully intimate, personal ceremony.
A Final Wish
After Zack and Brianna declared their intent to marry, they shared traditional vows, exchanged rings and created a beautiful sand sculpture as a visual reminder of their day. To conclude the ceremony, I shared a poem written by Pierre Tielhard de Chardin as a final wish for their marriage. “Love is an Adventure” fits the two of them to a “T.”
“Love is an adventure and a conquest. It survives and develops like the universe itself only by perpetual discovery. The only right love is that between couples whose passion leads them both, one through the other, to a higher possession of their being.
Put your faith in the spirit which dwells between the two of you. You have each offered yourself to the other as a boundless field of understanding, of enrichment, of mutually increased sensibility. You will meet above all by entering into and constantly sharing one another’s thoughts, affections, and dreams. There alone, as you know, in spirit, which is arrived through flesh, you will find no disappointments, no limits. There alone the skies are ever open for your love; there alone lies the great road ahead.”
Mr. and Mrs. Bergman
I then pronounced Zack and Brianna married. They kissed to the joyful cheering of their family and then headed up the steps to begin their celebrations.
Zack and Brianna stop for another celebratory kiss as they exit the ceremony at Gray Bridge Venue. PC: Joanna Monger Photography
Another quick note about Gray Bridge Venue
Gray Bridge Venue is a truly beautiful, magical, elevated wedding venue in Sultan, Washington (Snohomish County). It allows couples and their guests to celebrate in a fun, relaxed and safe atmosphere. Gray Bridge Venue also offers a touch of whimsy. With the forest, the ponds, the horses, friendly host cat (and the gray bridge), it feels like a place of magic. They have almost everything you need, or can connect you with whomever you need. You will LOVE getting married here and your photos will be spectacular.
Zack and Brianna share a private moment on the Gray Bridge at Gray Bridge Venue. Photo Credit: Joanna Monger PhotographyZack and Brianna enjoying the animals at the farm on their wedding day at Gray Bridge Venue. Photo Credit: Joanna Monger Photography
Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, gratitude coach, self-care coach, and owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Chanelle believes that life and love should be celebrated every minute. Her couples have already built the foundations of their relationship over the years and are now ready to get married. They’re seeking a custom, memorable (for all the right reasons) elopement/intimate wedding ceremony. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry. As their Celebrant for Life, Chanelle celebrates all the special milestones and moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and totally LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.
