Why & How to Care for Yourself Leading up to Your Big Day
There are so many ways to practice self-care before your wedding but the main thing to understand is why. You’re planning your wedding. It’s going to be beautiful, special and you’ve been thinking about it for years. You want it to be perfect so you and your partner need to take care of yourselves (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually). It’s just that there is SO much to do beforehand…even when you have your wedding team in place, it can feel overwhelming. I know.
Well, as your officiant, one of my promises to you is to encourage you in your self-care, so here I am, doing just that. There are lots of easy things that you both can do to take care of your mind, body and spirit and if you’re wanting help along the way, I’ve got you covered there too.
Staying up all night watching IG videos or pinning your favorite wedding decor might sound like a good idea, but it’s really not good for sleeping. Studies have shown that the blue light from your phone suppresses melatonin, which keeps you from sleeping well and ultimately feeling refreshed, not to mention possible connections with diseases such as diabetes. The best thing to do? Start a sleep schedule where you try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day (even on the weekends). And as far as the blue light, aim to put down all your electronics 2-3 hours before bedtime (OK – at LEAST half an hour before bed). One of the things I have found helpful is to put down/shut off the electronics and hour before bed, take care of final tasks in the kitchen or around the house, grab a cup of herbal tea, wash my face and brush my teeth. All of that takes me about 45 minutes and by then, I am calm and ready to sleep, my house feels ready for the morning and my skin is ready for nightly rejuvenation. If I’m still a bit awake, I will read a book (old-fashioned kind – no electronic versions).
I know…there is so much to do in our daily lives even without planning a wedding that our nutrition can get off track. However, when we don’t eat properly, there are all kinds of potential impacts: weight gain, weight loss, digestive trouble, skin irritation and dark circles, stress, frustration, injury and illness to name a few. Some basic things to try:
- Drink less caffeine (we PNW folks LOVE our coffee and tea), alcohol and pop – there is a lot of sodium in sodas.
- Drink MORE water – this will keep your skin hydrated as well as keep your digestive system working the way it is designed to.
- Increase your fresh veggie and fruit intake (mostly veggies), even by a little bit. Our bodies thrive when they get treated to fresh food. It also helps the hair, skin and digestion.
- Decrease processed foods as much as possible. I love pizza as much as the next person, but it’s not good for us to eat it every day, or even twice a week.
- You may even want to try a nutritional cleanse. In 2008, I began a nutritional cleanse program and lost 70 lbs in six months. It was AWESOME. Don’t have six months until your wedding? That’s ok. In the first 90 days, I had lost over 40 lbs and felt AMAZING. You might not need to lose that much or ANY for that matter. A nutritional cleanse is more about removing toxins from the body that come from stress, the environment and processed foods.
I am once again working with and using Isagenix cleanse products because I LOVE knowing that I am giving my body the nutritional support it needs with products I know are life-changing (they already have been for me). If you’re interested in learning more, you can visit my website here. If you have questions, I will be happy to answer them and share my story in more detail.
So…did you already join the gym? Are you going as often as you planned? If yes, you’re a rockstar and well done! If not, that’s ok. I don’t judge. I have bought more gym memberships that went unused in my lifetime than I care to think about. BUT… exercise/movement is important for a healthy body, mind and spirit. I actually prefer to go for walks, hikes, dance around my kitchen and living room when no one is watching, play ball with my cat (I know it sounds weird, but he loves to race them). AND, these don’t have to take a lot of time. 10-15 minutes at a go, can be really beneficial and with as much time as most of us scroll social media in an evening or on a lunch break, we can usually find 10 minutes for a quick game of chase the ball with your cat, I mean stroll around the block. 🙂
Taking care of your skin
You’re most likely having some photos taken at your wedding. Lack of sleep, poor nutrition and stress can really take a toll on our skin. Since I know that you want your photos to show your natural, just married glow, try to prioritize a skincare routine. Ideally, twice per day, you should cleanse and moisturize, but if that is too much, at LEAST do it before bed. Our skin cells rejuvenate overnight when our bodies are sleeping. Washing and moisturizing before that just aids in that process.
I recently became a brand ambassador for a luxury skincare line that also has a super yummy, drinkable collagen. My skin feels AMAZING (I live in the desert and have been experiencing dry skin for years), my dark circles and dark spots on my forehead and hands are almost gone).
Emotional self-care is just as important as taking care of our physical health. Our minds and hearts need attention too.
How about Date Night once a week?
Wedding planning can become all-consuming, so I encourage you and your partner to take a night, once a week if possible, and go out here so you don’t talk about the wedding. Just have fun, laugh, tell jokes, talk about work (right?!), maybe even go for a walk or a hike and take care of some physical self-care at the same time.
Sometimes we are so busy taking care of our partner, the kids, the parents, working, planning a wedding, and answering questions from everyone else, that we forget that we need to have time alone too. You know, just to breathe and BE. This is a great time to lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bubble bath. Turn on some music, SOAK and relax.
Time with Friends
After you’re done having your “You” time, maybe try some time with friends just to relax and NOT talk wedding stuff. How about a movie or girls’ hike or even a spa day (pedicure?).
Don’t estimate the power of time with your girlfriends/guy friends. Yes, guys need to practice self-care too and they need time with their buddies.
All this time talking about not talking about wedding stuff may have you thinking, yeah, but Chanelle, I have a wedding to plan and I can’t NOT talk about it or DO wedding things. I get it, but I also know how deep the rabbit hole can get sometimes, so I recommend setting aside a certain number of hours per week for wedding research/planning/doing AND I recommend sticking to that allotted amount of time. Keep track of things you want to get done in your wedding planning notebook or “to-do list”.
Best Self Care Idea Yet – Get Support
Hire a Wedding Planner. I promise you that the amount of stress, energy and emotional overwhelm that you will save by having a wedding planner will far outweigh any money you spend. These folks are awesome and like your officiant (yours truly), they live for weddings. The things it takes you hours to find and do, take them no time at all. Their whole job is to alleviate your stress and help your vision for your wedding come to life. AND…there is a wedding planner for every budget (I promise). If you would like a recommendation for an amazing PNW Wedding planner, let me know. I work with some incredible, talented and creative people.
Even if you decide not to go with a wedding planner, ask for help when you need it! Your family, friends, and bridal party will happily help you plan and take things off your plate when it all gets to be too much.
As I said at the beginning, we need to care for our body, mind and spirit when it comes to self-care. for some, this can mean worship and time at church or temple. For others, it may look a little less structured.
Taking a few moments to decompress each day will help keep you sane. Even if you think regular meditation is silly, all it takes is 5 minutes to help center you and focus on the day ahead. I generally set aside an hour each day for my devotional time (reading scripture, prayer), but I have found that just taking 15 minutes a day to write down all the things I am thankful for that day and in that moment (from the biggest, down to the most detailed things) helps me feel calmer and peaceful.
I’m a HUGE fan of walking and not just for exercise, but to clear my head. I’ve also managed to solve all the world’s problems on more than one long walk (too bad no one was ever there with me to listen in). 🙂 Your walks don’t even have to be long ones or even overly speedy. If you just get out for 10-15 minutes at a time, you’ll likely find your stress level going down and your energy going up. In the winter, when it is too cold outside (we often have sub-freezing temperatures), I walk the halls of our house just to ‘get my steps in’.
Monthly favorite treats
We all have something we love to treat ourselves to, and when you’re planning a wedding (or just living life in general) it’s always nice to take the time to take care of yourself. If you love a great massage or a mani/pedi, treat yourself to one. Maybe it’s decadent dark chocolate (my favorite) or an insanely good book. Enjoy this time of your life in every way possible!
As I mentioned above, self-care care is vital for you and your partner every day, but especially for you both to truly enjoy the wedding planning process and your most amazingly beautiful wedding day. I hope some of the information and tips in this article have been or will be helpful to you. If you would like further support or clarification, please reach out and let me know.
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Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, author, gratitude coach, self-care coach and owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Chanelle believes that life and love should be celebrated every minute. She collaborates with couples who’ve found “The ONE” to create custom, memorable ceremonies for their intimate wedding or elopement in the naturally beautiful Pacific Northwest. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA and LOVES traveling throughout the Pacific Northwest to officiate weddings. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.