The guests have all gone home. The flowers have faded. The dress is cleaned and put away.
And in the stillness that follows, something unexpected can arise for some:
A sense of sadness. A sense of emptiness. A quiet question—what now?
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.
Photo by Roxanne Best.
Is It Normal to Feel Sad After Your Wedding?
Yes—completely.
In fact, research shows that more than half of newly married brides report feelings of sadness, disappointment, or emotional letdown in the weeks and months following their wedding .
This experience—often referred to as the post-wedding blues—is far more common than most couples expect. And yet, it’s rarely talked about.
In our current culture, weddings are framed as the happiest day of your life, and it should be (at least one of the happiest). So, when the day passes, and your emotions don’t match that narrative, it can feel confusing—or even concerning.
But the truth is: Nothing has gone wrong.
Why Do the Post-Wedding Blues Happen?
At its core, this experience is not about disappointment. It’s about transition. Leading up to your wedding, your life is filled with:
Anticipation
Planning
Decision-making
Shared excitement
Your wedding becomes a focal point—a moment everything builds toward.
And then, suddenly… That moment is over.
What follows is a shift from:
Event → Everyday life
External celebration → Internal experience
Structured planning → Open-ended future
That kind of shift can feel disorienting even when your marriage is strong – even when your wedding was beautiful.
The Emotional Weight of “The Perfect Day”
There is also a cultural layer to consider.
Modern weddings often carry immense emotional and symbolic weight:
They are expected to be perfect
Deeply meaningful
Visually beautiful
Socially celebrated
When so much energy is poured into a single day, it’s natural to feel a sense of emotional drop afterward. Not because the day wasn’t enough.
But because no single day can hold the fullness of what marriage truly is.
Uncertainty in Early Marriage Is Normal
One of the most important—and often overlooked—contributors to post-wedding blues is uncertainty.
Marriage marks a new chapter, and with it can come questions like:
Who am I now, as a spouse?
What does our life look like moving forward?
How do we navigate expectations, roles, and rhythms?
These questions are not signs of doubt or instability. They are a natural part of growth. However, when they remain unspoken, they can create emotional distance or internal stress.
How to Navigate the Post-Wedding Blues
The goal isn’t to avoid these feelings.
It’s to move through them with awareness and care.
1. Name What You’re Feeling
Instead of pushing emotions aside, gently acknowledge them:
“I feel a little lost now that the wedding is over.”
“I didn’t expect to feel this way.”
Naming your feelings creates clarity—and relief.
2. Talk About It (Especially With Your Partner)
You may find that your partner is experiencing something similar.
Or something different.
Either way, open conversation builds connection.
Use gentle, non-blaming language:
“I feel…” instead of “You make me feel…”
This keeps the focus on understanding—not defensiveness.
3. Shift Your Focus to the Marriage
The wedding was a moment of celebration. The marriage is where your life unfolds…the life you talked about, you dreamt of, and that you planned for. This is where:
Your daily rituals are created
Your communication deepens
Your partnership evolves
And this happens slowly, over time—not all at once.
From Wedding Day to Married Life
If you’re experiencing the post-wedding blues, take a breath. You are not doing marriage wrong. You are simply moving through a meaningful life transition.
The stillness you feel is not emptiness— It’s space.
The stillness is space for your marriage to begin taking shape.
A Final Thought
The wedding is a beautiful beginning, but it is not the destination.
Your marriage—your shared life, your quiet moments, your evolving story— that is where the meaning lives.
Take some time alone, with your journal and together to remember WHY you wanted to be married to one another. Remember the life (months and years) you’ve dreamt of and planned for. That time is finally here. Welcome!
About Chanelle Carlin
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography
Chanelle Carlin is a professional wedding officiant and Celebrant for Life™, creating deeply personal, intentional ceremonies for couples across the Pacific Northwest.
Her work extends beyond the wedding day—guiding couples into a marriage that feels just as meaningful as the moment they say “I do.”
Choosing an engagement ring is one of the most personal decisions a couple will make — and yet, so many people feel pressure to follow outdated rules, trends, or expectations that don’t truly reflect who they are.
On a recent episode of the Now You May Kiss™ podcast, I had the opportunity to sit down with Carter Eve, founder and designer of Carter Eve Jewelry, to explore what it really means to design jewelry with intention, sustainability, and story at the center.
From engagement rings to heirloom transformations, this conversation reminds couples that — just like their wedding ceremony — their jewelry should feel authentic, personal, and deeply meaningful.
A Childhood Spark That Became a Calling
Carter Eve’s journey into fine jewelry began long before formal training or professional titles. Growing up in Connecticut, she was fascinated by gemstones brought home by one of her father’s international colleagues. What felt magical and mysterious as a child soon became a lifelong passion.
That curiosity led Carter to art school, where she explored many creative disciplines before discovering jewelry design. Living above a jewelry store in New York City, she became captivated by the craftsmanship happening behind the scenes — eventually pursuing formal jewelry training, apprenticeships, and advanced degrees.
Carter went on to earn her BFA in Jewelry and Objects from the Savannah College of Art and Design, a Master’s degree in Jewelry and Metalsmithing from the Rhode Island School of Design, and apprenticed under a master goldsmith — a combination of education and hands-on experience that deeply informs her work today.
Why Engagement Rings Should Never Be One-Size-Fits-All
As your Celebrant for LifeTM, I believe that every ceremony should reflect the couple standing in front of me. It is your story, your values, and your vision for the life you’re creating together.
Carter brings that same philosophy into her jewelry design.
There is no single “right” engagement ring. Instead, the right ring is the one that:
Reflects your personal style
Fits your lifestyle and daily activities
Honors your story and values
Feels like you
Whether that means a simple diamond band, a vintage-inspired heirloom setting, or a bold, celestial cluster of stones, Carter encourages couples to let go of outdated rules — including the infamous “three months’ salary” myth.
We are living in a time where engagement rings can be expressive, creative, sustainable, and deeply personal.
Reimagining Heirloom Jewelry with Heart & Sustainability
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation centered on heirloom jewelry. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you KNOW how much I love heirloom jewelry. The reality though is that pieces passed down through generations that may no longer suit modern styles, but they often hold immense sentimental value.
Carter specializes in transforming heirloom pieces by:
Resetting center stones into new, modern designs
Melting and reusing gold to create something entirely new
Repurposing accent stones into clusters, bands, or earrings
This process not only supports sustainability through reuse and recycling, but also preserves the emotional energy, lineage, and memory carried within the original piece.
For many couples, an heirloom engagement or wedding ring becomes a tangible bridge between generations — honoring the past while celebrating the future.
Caring for Engagement Rings & Fine Jewelry
Fine jewelry is designed to be worn — but it also requires care. During our interview, Carter shared practical, real-life advice that couples often don’t hear:
Everyday Jewelry Care Tips
Remove rings when working out (yoga included), gardening, cleaning, or lifting weights
Avoid wearing rings while applying lotion or perfume
Store rings in a consistent, safe place at home
When in doubt — take it off
Professional Care Matters
Have engagement rings professionally cleaned and checked every six months
Regular inspections help prevent loose prongs and lost stones
Think of ring maintenance like caring for a car — preventative care matters
These simple habits can prevent heartbreaking loss, especially for irreplaceable heirloom pieces.
Why Appraisals & Insurance Are Essential
One of the most important — and often overlooked — topics Carter discusses is insurance.
To insure a ring properly, it must first be appraised. For custom pieces, Carter provides appraisals upon completion. For vintage or estate jewelry, it’s essential to work with an appraiser who specializes in those pieces.
Insurance offers peace of mind — not because couples expect loss, but because life happens. Fires, accidents, theft, and natural disasters can occur, and having coverage allows couples the ability to recreate or restore something meaningful if the unthinkable happens.
As Carter shared from personal experience in Los Angeles, many clients who lost everything in wildfires were grateful to at least have the ability to rebuild treasured pieces.
Enjoy the Engagement Process
Perhaps Carter’s most heartfelt advice is this: Slow down and enjoy the process.
Engagements are emotional. There is pressure for everything to be perfect. But the ring — like the wedding and the marriage itself — should feel joyful, aligned, and true to who you are.
When couples choose rings that reflect their real lives, personal style, and shared values, the experience becomes not only easier, but far more meaningful.
About Carter Eve Jewelry
Carter Eve, Founder of Carter Eve Jewelry
Carter Eve Jewelryis a Los Angeles–based fine jewelry studio specializing in handcrafted engagement rings, custom designs, and heirloom transformations. Carter works with recycled gold, ethically sourced gemstones, and conflict-free diamonds to create timeless, wearable pieces designed to honor personal stories and intentional love.
As a Wedding Officiant and your Celebrant for Life™, I believe every wedding — and every symbol surrounding it — should reflect the couple it represents. Your engagement and wedding rings, like your vows, are a promise rooted in who you are and who you are becoming together.
Chanelle guides legacy-driven couples as they establish enduring marriages through intentional, artfully crafted ceremony. Request your private consultation.
Did you know that one in four couples is now choosing a destination wedding?
That number surprises many people. Yet it reflects a growing shift in how couples think about weddings. Today’s couples want meaning. They want experience. They want alignment.
If you are considering a destination wedding, this guide will help you decide wisely — and beautifully.
What Is a Destination Wedding?
A destination wedding is any wedding held away from your home city.
It could mean:
A beach ceremony in Mexico
A villa in Italy
A mountaintop elopement in the Pacific Northwest
A wine estate in Portugal
A city celebration in Paris
It does not have to be international.
For some couples, Seattle is the destination. For others, it is Greece.
The defining factor is travel.
And that changes everything.
Pacific Northwest Mountaintop destination elopement at Artist Point, Mount Baker. Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography
Who Should Consider a Destination Wedding?
Destination weddings are not for everyone.
But they are ideal for more couples than you may think.
1. Couples With Geographically Spread Families
Today, families rarely live in the same town.
Parents may be in different states. Siblings may live abroad. Friends may be scattered across the country.
Choosing a neutral location eliminates the pressure of “whose hometown wins.”
Everyone travels. Everyone shares the experience. It levels the emotional playing field.
2. Couples Who Want an Intimate Celebration
Destination weddings naturally reduce guest count. Travel requires intention, so typically, only your closest circle attends. This creates depth.
It allows for slower moments. More connection. It allows for more presence.
3. Couples Planning a Second Wedding
Second marriages often prioritize experience over scale.
Many couples already had the large traditional wedding once. Now they want something meaningful… something reflective. They desire a wedding that feels like them.
Destination weddings often serve this beautifully.
4. Couples Who Want to Blend Wedding and Honeymoon
One major advantage is efficiency. You are already there. Instead of flying home and then traveling again, you extend your stay.
Wedding. Exhale. Honeymoon.
All in one location. Now, doesn’t that sound fantastic?!
The Truth About Destination Wedding Budgets
There is a common belief that destination weddings are cheaper. The reality is that sometimes they are and sometimes they are not.
If you live in a high-cost city like Seattle, your budget may stretch further in certain locations. However, keep in mind:
Travel costs add up.
Guest logistics require coordination.
Luxury international venues can be expensive.
The key is clarity. Define what matters most to you as a couple.
Is it the view? The intimacy? The experience for guests?
When your priorities are clear, your budget follows.
Types of Destination Weddings Couples Are Choosing
Many people imagine only beach weddings, and beach weddings are gorgeous, but if the beach isn’t your thing, don’t worry. There are so many more options available. Truly, destination weddings are not “one size fits all.”
European Romance
Think:
A private villa in Italy
A vineyard in Portugal
An elopement near the Eiffel Tower
These weddings are elegant. They are immersive. They often feel cinematic.
Destinations like Costa Rica and New Zealand offer both adventure and comfort. Guests can hike or relax in hot springs. It even works across generations.
Urban International Weddings
If the big city is more your style, go for it! The world is your oyster.
Instead of New York, consider Paris.
Instead of Chicago, consider Barcelona.
Destination weddings do not require sand (though sand is lovely, if that is what you seek). However, they do require intention.
The Two Professionals You Absolutely Need
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is trying to manage everything themselves. Please do not do this. Aside from the legal marriage piece (hint, you will need an officiant), you need two key professionals.
1. A Travel Advisor
A travel advisor handles:
Group flights
Room blocks
Hotel contracts
Guest questions
Excursions
Travel insurance
Without one, you become the help desk, and that is not how you want to spend your engagement.
Professionals like Carolyn Kulb exist for a reason. Let them carry the logistics.
2. An On-Site Wedding Planner
Most destination venues include an in-house planner.
They coordinate:
Catering
Florals
Ceremony logistics
Seating arrangements
Vendor communication
You may not need a separate U.S.-based planner. In many cases, the venue team is sufficient.
Your job is to show up. Their job is to execute.
However, if you’re not getting married at a traditional venue, you’ll definitely want to hire a wedding planner. Whether you find a planner in the US that specializes in destination weddings or you find a local expert (perhaps with the help of your travel advisor), you’ll need someone.
For couples traveling to the US as your wedding destination, I will be happy to help you find an amazing wedding planner. Please feel free to reach out.
Legal vs. Symbolic Ceremonies: What You Must Understand
Finally Official: Bride signing the Marriage Certificate. Photo courtesy of Svetlana Sauer Photography.
This is where many couples get surprised. Getting legally married abroad can be complicated. Some countries require:
Residency periods
Extensive documentation
Multiple in-person appointments
Translations and approvals
In some European Union countries, legal marriage for non-residents is extremely difficult. Because of this, many couples choose to:
Legally marry in the United States.
Host a symbolic ceremony at their destination.
This removes enormous stress. As a professional officiant, I care deeply about legal validity. You deserve both a meaningful ceremony and a legally recognized marriage. Separating the legal and symbolic events is not “less than.” It is strategic.
If this is something you’re interested in learning more about, please let me know. You have options.
When a Destination Wedding May Not Be the Right Choice
There are circumstances where destination weddings are not wise.
1. Essential Family Cannot Travel
If key loved ones cannot attend due to health, finances, or mobility, reconsider. Your wedding should not create unnecessary heartbreak.
2. It Will Cause Significant Family Conflict
If the location will ignite tension, weigh that carefully. Your marriage begins long before the ceremony and will continue long after.
3. The Budget Truly Is Not There
Destination weddings are not inherently affordable. If it creates debt or financial stress, pause. Beauty is not worth instability.
Practical Logistics Couples Often Overlook
Carolyn shared some really important insight during our interview: Dreaming is easy. Execution requires planning.
Communicate Early
Send save-the-dates early.
Provide a detailed travel page on your wedding website.
Answer common questions upfront.
Clear communication reduces stress for everyone.
Purchase Travel Insurance
As Carolyn shared, Travel Insurance is a non-negotiable for the couple and their family. The reality of 21st century travel is that:
Flights get delayed.
Luggage gets lost.
Weather disrupts plans.
Travel insurance protects your investment and your peace of mind. It is not glamorous, but it is wise.
Consider Weather and Season
Off-season pricing can be appealing, but February beaches can be cold in most of the Northern Hemisphere. August in Spain or Lake Chelan can be scorching.
Make sure you have a Plan B, especially for outdoor ceremonies. …this is where your wedding planner’s knowledge and assistance can be invaluable.
Build in Extra Time
When going abroad for a destination wedding, arrive several days early.
Try to meet your vendors in person.
Allow yourselves time to adjust for jet lag.
Leave space for small hiccups.
Rushing defeats the purpose of a destination experience.
How to Keep the Focus on the Marriage
Here is what matters most:
A destination wedding is still a wedding and a wedding is still the doorway into marriage.
The view may be extraordinary.
The location may be breathtaking.
But the sacred work remains the same.
You are making a covenant. You are building a life together.
No passport stamp changes that.
The goal is alignment.
Your ceremony should reflect your story, your values and your shared vision.
Location enhances the experience, but it does not replace the foundation.
Final Thoughts: Is a Destination Wedding Right for You?
If your heart lights up when you imagine:
Gathering your closest people somewhere beautiful
Creating an immersive multi-day experience
Blending travel, celebration, and intimacy
Then a destination wedding may be perfect for you.
If your priority is convenience, simplicity, or keeping every extended family member comfortable, it may not be.
Neither choice is better.
Only alignment is better.
Your wedding can happen in Paris or Chelan. It can happen in Leavenworth or your hometown courthouse. The question is not where.
The question is why.
If you are considering a destination wedding and want a ceremony that is legally sound, deeply personal, and aligned with your marriage vision, I would be honored to walk alongside you.
Because your wedding is beautiful.
But your marriage is sacred.
And both deserve intention.
About Chanelle
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography
Chanelle Carlin guides legacy-minded couples into marriage by transforming their Pacific Northwest elopement or wedding ceremony into the emotional and strategic foundation of a deeply connected, intention and enduring partnership.
Together, we explore ceremony beyond the script. We discuss love, leadership, and intentional living. This conversation is deeply human. It is also refreshingly practical.
Celebrant vs. Officiant: A Shared Global Calling
In the United States, we say “wedding officiant.” In many countries, the term is “celebrant.” The language may differ. The calling is the same.
Celebrants do more than legal paperwork. They hold space for life’s milestones:
Weddings.
Vow renewals.
Funerals.
Naming ceremonies.
Celebrants witness transformation. That responsibility matters.
Ceremony Is About Presence, Not Performance
Vic and I discuss what makes ceremonies meaningful.
It is not about reading beautiful words. It is about paying attention and offering emotional presence.
We watch how couples interact. We notice laughter, silence, and touch. Those moments shape ceremony. They reveal truth.
A great ceremony reflects who a couple is. Not who they think they should be.
Why Micro Weddings Create Powerful Moments
Vic shared about a micro wedding that she recently officiated. There were just ten guests in attendance (plus the couple’s dog). They chose intimacy over scale.
The ceremony focused on daily love. Not dramatic storytelling.
What do you admire about each other? What does marriage feel like at home? Those answers created magic. Quiet, honest magic.
The Emotional Labor of Celebrancy
Celebrants do emotional work. That work is rarely discussed.
We hold stories. Celebrants hold grief, joy, and vulnerability. We sit with families and honor transitions. This labor is invisible. But it is real.
That is why generic business systems fail celebrants. Our work is unique in the world and even in the wedding industry.
Building a Business That Supports Real Life
Vic became a celebrant in 2019. Soon after, she became a mother. She now has three young children and her priorities have shifted.
She is honoring this season of her life. This required boundaries…and courage. She redesigned her offerings intentionally. Her work proves sustainability matters. It matters most especially for heart-led professionals.
The “CEO Era” of Celebrancy
Vic describes entering her “CEO era.” It is a powerful concept. This era rejects survival mode and embraces leadership.
Systems replace chaos. Boundaries replace burnout.
Many believe systems reduce intimacy, but actually, the opposite is true.
Strong systems free emotional energy. They create presence. When admin tasks are handled, connection deepens. Focus sharpens.
Couples feel supported. They feel seen. That is the heart of Vic’s celebrant-specific business platform. My Celebrant. It’s a collaborative planning experience.
Modern Couples Expect Modern Experiences
Today’s couples often plan from their phones. Many are Gen Z. They value convenience, but they also value meaning.
They want stress-free planning and they want an authentic ceremony. Celebrants must meet both needs. Heart and technology must coexist.
Remember, modern does not mean impersonal. It means intentional.
Marriage Changes More Than You Expect
Before they marry, many couples say marriage changes nothing. They are often surprised. Even long-term couples feel shifts.
Marriage redefines family. You consciously choose your person. That choice matters. It affects identity and it affects all relationships.
I see this repeatedly…every year.
Celebrating Love Beyond the Wedding Day
I stay connected with my couples. Anniversaries matter. So do milestones. So do check-ins. Your marriage deserves ongoing celebration. Not just for one day.
Vic shares this value deeply. It aligns beautifully. As Celebrants, we do not disappear after the wedding. We walk alongside our couples.
Love, Legacy, and Long-Term Commitment
During the episode, Vic shares a very personal story. Her grandparents were married 77 years. They were soulmates and true partners. Always holding hands until her “poppa” transitioned from this life. Their marriage modeled partnership and conscious choice.
Those stories shape how I serve couples. Legacy matters. Ceremony honors that legacy. It carries hope forward.
Advice for Couples Planning Their Wedding
Vic offers simple wisdom. “You do you, Boo.”
Choose vendors who support presence. Not pressure.
Design a day that reflects you. Not expectations.
Let your ceremony feel like an exhale, rather than a performance.
I promise, this mindset changes everything, including your experience.
Planning a Wedding in 2026?
If you’re planning a wedding or elopement in 2026 and want a ceremony that feels grounded, personal, and deeply meaningful, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Your ceremony sets the emotional tone for your entire wedding day—and when it’s thoughtfully designed, you and your guests feel present, connected, and at ease. I specialize in creating highly personalized wedding and elopement ceremonies, offering vow writing guidance, and supporting couples who want to feel confident, calm, and fully themselves as they step into marriage.
Whether you’re envisioning an intimate elopement or a wedding surrounded by family and friends, your ceremony should reflect who you are—and who you’re becoming together.
A Global Perspective on Intentional Ceremony
This conversation with Vic crosses continents, but the values remain universal:
Love deserves intention.
Your ceremony deserves care.
Marriage deserves preparation… and celebration.
Whether in New Zealand or the U.S., the heart remains the same. That is the power of ceremony. It connects us all.
This episode is for couples and for celebrants. It is for anyone who believes marriage matters, and that ceremonies matter too.
About the Host, Chanelle
All things for your bespoke intimate wedding or elopement with Chanelle Carlin
Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, ceremony coach, and the host of the Now You May Kiss™ Podcast. Through Chanelle Carlin Weddings, she creates deeply personalized wedding and elopement ceremonies, offers vow writing guidance, and serves couples as their Celebrant for Life™—supporting them through marriage milestones well beyond the wedding day.
How Art & Creative Experiences Bring People Together Through Celebration with Cindy Shaw, owner of Color Collective by Cindy Shaw
In a world that often feels rushed, digital, and disconnected, creative experiences have a quiet way of bringing us back to ourselves—and to one another. That truth is at the heart of a recent episode of the Now You May Kiss™ Podcast, where host Chanelle Carlin sits down with artist and creative entrepreneur Cindy Shaw, owner of Color Collective by Cindy Shaw.
This joyful and inspiring conversation explores how art—especially shared creative experiences—can transform the way we celebrate life’s milestones, from weddings and bridal showers to everyday moments that deserve to be honored.
From Corporate Life to Creative Calling
After decades working in the corporate world at a Fortune 100 global company, Cindy Shaw made a bold and life-giving shift: she traded spreadsheets for paintbrushes. What began as a personal creative outlet soon became something much bigger—a business rooted in connection, joy, and human flourishing.
Cindy Shaw, owner of Color Collective by Cindy Shaw
Through Color Collective by Cindy Shaw, Cindy hosts painting parties, art workshops, and creative experiences designed for people of all skill levels. Her mission is simple yet powerful: help people come together to create, connect, and ultimately flourish.
Why Creative Experiences Matter More Than Ever
According to Cindy, creativity isn’t just about making art—it’s about balance, well-being, and emotional health. In the podcast episode, she shares how engaging the creative side of the brain can:
Reduce stress and anxiety
Encourage mindfulness and calm
Spark joy and playfulness
Counterbalance the pressures of modern life
Foster human connection in an increasingly digital world
She also speaks to creativity as a vital countermeasure to AI and automation—reminding us that while technology can enhance efficiency, it can never replace human imagination, intuition, or shared experience.
Art Is for Everyone (Yes, Even If You “Can’t Draw”)
One of the most refreshing takeaways from this conversation is Cindy’s insistence that you do not need to be artistic to be creative.
Color Collective painting parties are intentionally designed to be approachable and inclusive. With pre-traced canvases, step-by-step guidance, and hands-on support, guests are free to relax, follow along, and enjoy the process—without pressure or perfectionism.
The goal isn’t to create a masterpiece. It’s to be present, have fun, and say at the end, “Look what I made.”
A Meaningful Alternative for Wedding Celebrations
For couples and their loved ones, painting parties offer a heartfelt alternative—or addition—to traditional wedding events.
Cindy and Chanelle discuss how creative gatherings are becoming increasingly popular for:
Bridal showers
Bachelorette celebrations
Engagement parties
Family-centered wedding weekends
Unlike alcohol-focused events, painting parties are welcoming to all ages and stages of life. Grandmothers, aunts, cousins, children, and friends can sit side by side, laugh together, share stories, and create something meaningful.
Guests leave not only with memories, but with a tangible keepsake—a piece of art that forever holds the joy of that season.
In the years following 2020, many people never fully returned to gathering the way they once did. Cindy shares how loneliness and isolation have quietly taken root—and how intentional creative spaces can help rebuild what was lost.
When people gather to paint, listen to music, and create together, something powerful happens:
Conversations flow naturally
Old relationships are rekindled
New bonds are formed
People feel seen, valued, and connected
This is where Cindy’s philosophy truly comes alive—and where flourishing begins.
Making Space for Creative Experiences in Everyday Life
Beyond hosted events, Cindy encourages everyone to carve out small moments of creativity in daily life—even just an hour a week. Whether it’s painting, doodling, journaling, or experimenting with color, creative play nurtures mind, body, and spirit.
And when done together, creativity becomes a celebration in itself.
Connect with Cindy Shaw
If you’re curious about hosting or attending a painting party—or simply want to bring more creativity into your life—you can connect with Cindy here:
All things for your bespoke intimate wedding or elopement with Chanelle Carlin
The Now You May Kiss™ Podcast is hosted by Chanelle Carlin, Wedding Officiant and Celebrant for Life™. Through thoughtful conversations with industry experts, creatives, and heart-centered leaders, Chanelle explores love, marriage, celebration, and the meaningful moments that bring people together.
Whether you’re planning a wedding or simply seeking a more intentional way of living and celebrating, each episode offers inspiration rooted in connection, authenticity, and joy.
A Conversation with Evergreen Event Company’s Kiira Portet
“Sustainability is just one thoughtful choice at a time.” — Kiira
Creating a Sustainable, Meaningful Wedding Day: Insights from Evergreen Event Company’s Kiira Portet
As couples begin planning their weddings, more and more are asking how they can create a celebration that feels intentional, meaningful, and aligned with their values. Sustainability has become central to that conversation—especially for couples choosing to marry in the Pacific Northwest.
In a recent episode of the Now You May Kiss™ Podcast, I sat down with Kiira Portet, owner of Evergreen Event Company and a Seattle-based wedding planner who specializes in eco-conscious weddings and intimate elopements. Kiira brings a wealth of experience and a grounded, thoughtful approach to helping couples design celebrations that minimize waste while maximizing connection and meaning.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Why Elopements and Small Weddings Create Deeper Connection
Kiira and I share a mutual love for intimate celebrations. Smaller weddings give couples the space to be present, breathe, and truly feel the love around them.
With fewer guests, couples can: • Focus on meaningful moments • Reduce stress and logistical overwhelm • Invest in higher-quality experiences • Avoid waste associated with large events • Craft a celebration that reflects their values
This isn’t about dismissing big weddings. It’s about encouraging couples to choose intentionally—and to recognize that small can be extraordinary.
A Wedding Planner’s Role in Sustainable Elopements and Micro-Weddings
Many couples assume small weddings require little planning. But even intimate celebrations include moving parts that a planner can manage, including:
• Sourcing eco-minded vendors • Coordinating logistics with photographers and officiants • Managing weather shifts and guest comfort • Picking up cakes, flowers, or rentals for traveling couples • Ensuring the day flows seamlessly
Planners help couples stay focused on each other—not the timeline.
Practical Ways to Make Your Wedding More Sustainable
Kiira shared a range of simple, effective steps couples can take:
1. Choose eco-conscious vendors Hire florists who avoid floral foam, caterers who use local ingredients, and planners who prioritize reuse.
2. Rent whenever possible Tables, linens, décor, and signage can be reused week after week.
3. Ask venues about décor closets Many have baskets, easels, votives, or signage available at no extra—or minimal—cost.
4. Donate florals after your celebration Nonprofits like Lilies of the Valley in Wenatchee refresh and deliver arrangements to care facilities, extending the beauty of your day.
5. Reduce travel waste Keeping your guest list intimate naturally reduces fuel use and packaging waste.
Sustainability doesn’t require perfection. It’s simply a series of mindful choices.
Start with Your WHY
One of Kiira’s most powerful insights is that couples should begin planning not with budget or guest list—but with their ‘why’.
Ask yourselves:
Why are we choosing to have a wedding in the first place?
What does this celebration represent in our relationship?
Who and what are most important to us?
What kind of marriage do we want to build together?
Your answers will guide every other decision—from venue size to décor choices to the guest list.
“Your North Star is your why — why you’re getting married and what you want your marriage to look like.”
The Emerald Hour Collective
Kiira also serves on the leadership team of Emerald Hour, a Seattle-based community of wedding vendors committed to sustainable practices. Through educational events, styled shoots, and cross-vendor collaboration, they inspire thoughtful change within the wedding industry.
Final Thoughts
Sustainable weddings aren’t about doing everything perfectly—they’re about making choices that reflect who you are as a couple. Whether you’re planning an elopement, micro-wedding, or full celebration, your values can shine through in meaningful, environmentally mindful ways.
If you’d like guidance planning a ceremony that reflects your story, your values, and your hopes for your marriage, I would be honored to support you.
Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, coach, and Celebrant for Life™. She is devoted to helping couples create deeply personal, meaningful wedding ceremonies that reflect who they truly are and the marriage they are choosing to build. Through her work with Chanelle Carlin Weddings, Chanelle supports couples planning elopements, intimate weddings, and milestone celebrations across the Pacific Northwest and beyond—guiding them with warmth, intention, and care from “yes” to I do and well into married life. In addition to her other roles, she also hosts the Now You May Kiss™ Podcast. On the Now You May Kiss podcast, Chanelle explores love, marriage, weddings, and intentional partnership through thoughtful conversations with industry experts and heart-centered leaders.
Planning a wedding is often a beautiful journey filled with excitement, joy, and love—but let’s be honest, it can also come with a lot of pressure to do things a certain way. If you’ve ever felt boxed in by outdated traditions or wedding day “rules,” you’re not alone. Read below to see how my guest, Chris Shelley, and I do some serious debunking of Wedding Ceremony Myths.
This week on the Now You May Kiss™ Podcast, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with the hilarious, wise, and deeply heartfelt Chris Shelley—a professional wedding officiant, Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant, speaker, and the author of Best. Ceremony. Ever. Chris is known for creating refreshingly honest, personal, and often laugh-out-loud ceremonies for couples who want their wedding day to feel just right for them.
A Conversation Full of Laughter, Love, and Real Talk
Chris and I got real about some of the most common wedding ceremony myths that couples still feel obligated to follow—even at modern, non-traditional weddings! And let me tell you, this was no dry checklist conversation. It was funny, sometimes a little irreverent, and always packed with love and wisdom.
Whether you’re planning a black-tie celebration or a cozy destination elopement, this episode will inspire you to rethink what’s “traditional” and step fully into what’s true for you.
7 Wedding Ceremony Myths We Officially Debunked
Here are just a few wedding ceremony myths Chris and I joyfully busted during our conversation:
“You can’t see each other before the ceremony.” Yes, you can—and for some couples, a first look or private moment before the ceremony brings calm, connection, and a sense of sacred intimacy.
“Weddings always start late.” Not if you don’t want them to! With a well-planned timeline and an experienced officiant and planner, your ceremony can begin exactly when it’s meant to.
“The officiant must stand between you during your vows.” Not true! Chris and I both agree—stepping aside during your vows creates a more powerful, connected moment for you and your guests.
“You have to sign your marriage license after the ceremony.” Actually, you can sign before, DURING or after—it all depends on what feels best for your flow of the day. Spoiler alert, signing before or during your ceremony allows you just to get to the celebrating all the more quickly afterward.
“Outdoor weddings must go on outdoors—no matter the weather.” You and your guests deserve to be comfortable and safe. A stunning backup plan isn’t a failure—it’s good design.
“You need a large wedding party.” You don’t need 14 people in matching outfits to feel supported. A meaningful ceremony can be intimate, relaxed, and still elegant.
“Personal vows should be kept private.” We say: if you want to share your heart in front of your loved ones, do it. That’s where the magic lives.
Why This Matters for Your Wedding Ceremony
If you’re a couple who values intentionality, authenticity, and unforgettable moments, then these myth-busting truths will help you confidently shape a ceremony that reflects your real love story—not someone else’s expectations.
Regardless of budget, your ceremony deserves to be a celebration of your hearts, your values, and your journey—crafted with care, creativity, and maybe even a little comedy.
Meet Chris Shelley
Chris Shelley has been crafting beautiful, deeply personal, and yes—sometimes laugh-out-loud funny—wedding ceremonies since 2011. He’s the author of Best. Ceremony. Ever. (W.W. Norton), speaks regularly at Wedding MBA and other top-tier industry events, and is the owner of Illuminating Ceremonies in New York.
If this conversation lit a fire in your heart and you’re dreaming of a wedding ceremony that’s elegant, intentional, and uniquely yours, I would love to help bring your vision to life.
Whether you’re eloping in the mountains of Washington or the Oregon coast, exchanging vows at a private estate in Coeur d’Alene, or planning an unforgettable destination celebration, your ceremony should be as extraordinary as your love.
Let’s create a moment you’ll remember forever—for all the right reasons.
About Chanelle
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography
Chanelle Carlin not only hosts the Now You May KissTM Podcast, she is, first and foremost, a Professional Wedding Officiant, Your Celebrant for LifeTM, and the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. With a passion for crafting deeply personal ceremonies, Chanelle helps couples create authentic, meaningful celebrations of love. Whether through intimate elopements, personalized coaching, or VIP retreats, she is dedicated to guiding couples through every step of their journey. Based in the Pacific Northwest, Chanelle draws inspiration from the natural beauty around her and her heartfelt connections with the couples she serves. If this sounds like the type of elopement or intimate wedding for you, reach out to Chanelle today to start the conversation.
“The appreciation of life does not require wealth or plenty. It requires only gratitude for the beauty of the world.”—Deng Ming-Dao
Gratitude is a powerful force. It turns ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. It reminds us that love, not luxury, is what makes life meaningful. For couples stepping into marriage and those celebrating decades together, gratitude is one of the strongest pillars of a lasting and joyful relationship.
Gratitude in the Early Days
Newly engaged couples often dream of a perfect wedding day. They envision beautiful details, stunning venues, and unforgettable experiences. While those are wonderful, they aren’t what make a wedding truly special. What matters most is the love between two people and the commitment they share.
When couples focus on gratitude, they shift their perspective. Instead of stressing over every detail, they appreciate the journey. They recognize the joy of planning a day that celebrates their love. Focusing on gratitude allows them to cherish the support of friends and family. They are thankful for each other’s presence, knowing that this day marks the beginning of a lifetime together.
Gratitude helps couples embrace imperfection. If it rains on your wedding day, you can complain or dance in the rain. If the cake isn’t perfect, you can laugh and enjoy it anyway. A grateful heart sees beauty in every moment.
As Your Celebrant for LifeTM, I help couples focus on gratitude from the very beginning. Through personalized ceremonies, vow coaching, and heartfelt celebrations, I guide couples in creating a wedding experience built on love and appreciation. This foundation of gratitude will carry them through a lifetime together.
Building a Marriage on Gratitude
Gratitude shouldn’t stop after the wedding day. In fact, it’s even more important in the years that follow. Marriage isn’t always easy. There will be challenges, misunderstandings, and unexpected twists. But gratitude can strengthen the bond between two people and help them weather any storm.
Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, found that people who practice gratitude are happier, healthier, and more resilient. Couples who regularly express appreciation for each other tend to have stronger, more fulfilling marriages.
It’s easy to take your partner for granted when life gets busy. But saying “thank you” for the small things—making coffee, listening after a long day, or offering a kind word—builds emotional connection. Gratitude reminds you why you fell in love in the first place. It keeps the focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong.
Growing Old Together with a Thankful Heart
Long-lasting marriages are built on love, commitment, and gratitude. Couples who celebrate 30, 40, or even 50 years together often say that gratitude played a big role in their success.
Life changes over the years. Careers shift, children grow up, and health challenges arise. But through all of it, a grateful heart finds joy in the present moment. Instead of longing for the past or worrying about the future, grateful couples embrace today.
They celebrate each anniversary as a gift. These couples appreciate the simple moments—holding hands, sharing a meal, or watching the sunset together. They focus on what they have, not what they lack.
When a couple expresses gratitude, they create a positive cycle. They feel valued, which strengthens their bond and deepens their love.
Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude in Marriage
Practicing gratitude doesn’t require grand gestures. Small, daily acts of appreciation make the biggest difference. Here are a few ways to bring more gratitude into your marriage:
Say “Thank You” Often – Notice the little things your partner does and express appreciation.
Write Love Notes – A simple note of gratitude can brighten your partner’s day.
Keep a Gratitude Journal – Write down one thing you’re grateful for about your spouse each day.
Celebrate Each Other’s Wins – Cheer for each other’s successes, big or small.
Reflect on Happy Memories – Reminiscing about good times strengthens your connection.
Practice Active Listening – Give your partner your full attention and appreciate their thoughts.
Create Gratitude Rituals – End each day by sharing one thing you’re grateful for about each other.
The Beauty of a Grateful Heart
Marriage isn’t about having more—it’s about appreciating what you already have. It’s about choosing love, joy, and gratitude every single day. Whether you’re just starting your journey together or celebrating decades of love, a grateful heart will guide you through the highs and lows.
This Thankful Thursday, take a moment to reflect on your partner. What do you love about them? What small things do they do that make your life better? How can you show more appreciation today?
Gratitude doesn’t require wealth or plenty. It only requires an open heart and a willingness to see the beauty in your life. And that, my friends, is the secret to a truly happy marriage.
Ready to Celebrate Your Love?
If you and your partner are looking for a Wedding Officiant who will help you celebrate the start of your marriage with joy, intention, and gratitude, I’d love to connect with you. Whether you’re planning an intimate elopement or a family-filled celebration, I’m here to help you create a ceremony that reflects your love and appreciation for each other. Reach out today, and let’s start crafting your perfect day together.
Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, coach, and Your Celebrant for Life. Through Chanelle Carlin Weddings, she helps couples create meaningful, joyful wedding ceremonies and navigate their journey to marriage with confidence. Whether officiating elopements, hosting VIP retreats, or guiding couples through vow writing, Chanelle brings warmth, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for love. Learn more at chanellecarlin.com. You can also connect with Chanelle via social media at IG, LI and X and through her podcast, Now You May KissTM
Reflections on Jacob and Sydney’s Relaxed Elopement Ceremony at Washington Pass Overlook
A Day in Nature’s Embrace
There’s something profoundly magical about officiating a wedding in the heart of nature. On October 1, 2024, I had the honor of officiating Jacob and Sydney’s intimate and relaxed elopement ceremony at the breathtaking Washington Pass Overlook in Okanogan County, WA. As the leaves began their autumn transformation and the majestic peaks stood sentinel over the moment, love truly took center stage…a celebration in nature.
A Couple Who Cherished Simplicity
From the moment I met Jacob and Sydney, it was clear they were a couple who cherished simplicity and authenticity. Their vision for the day was heartfelt and stress-free. Their choice of Washington Pass Overlook reflected their deep appreciation for natural beauty. This location, with its sweeping vistas and serene ambiance, provided the perfect backdrop for their love story.
Sweeping vistas of Washington Pass Overlook, North Cascades, Okanogan County, WA. Photo Courtesy of The Foxes Photography
A Windy Adventure with Thoughtful Details
Typically Autumn in the Pacific Northwest, it was quite a windy day, and the temperatures were cooling down. At times, we all felt a bit blown about, but the weather added an element of adventure to the occasion. Jacob, ever thoughtful, brought a new blanket for Sydney to wear around her shoulders so she wouldn’t be cold. She wore it off and on throughout the day. It was truly a touching symbol of his care and love for Sydney.
Honoring a Beloved Mother
Though Sydney’s mom passed away a number of years ago, she found a heartfelt way to include her memory in the day. Attached by a ribbon to her bouquet was a charm with a photo of her mom, a beautiful reminder that her presence was felt in spirit.
Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography
Capturing Every Moment
Hannah Aspen, the incredibly talented photographer from The Foxes Photography, captured every moment with an artistic eye. Her ability to frame the vast landscapes while highlighting the tender moments between Jacob and Sydney was nothing short of extraordinary. As the golden sunlight filtered through the trees, Hannah worked her magic, ensuring their memories were immortalized in breathtaking detail. This is the second elopement I’ve been fortunate to work with Hannah on and I look forward to more opportunities in the future. Looking at the photos even now, I feel like I am right there.
A Ceremony Filled with Love
Jacob’s parents and Sydney’s best friend, along with her husband, were present to witness the ceremony. The intimacy of the gathering added a layer of warmth and connection that is often lost in larger celebrations. Their joy and love for the couple were palpable, enhancing the beauty of the occasion.
Asking God’s blessings on their ceremony and their marriage. Photo courtesy of The Foxes PhotographyI now pronounce you married! Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography
The ceremony itself was deeply personal, reflecting Jacob and Sydney’s unique journey. Standing before their closest loved ones, they shared heartfelt vows that resonated with authenticity and vulnerability. Every word spoken was a testament to the life they have built together and the future they envision.
A Magical Picnic Celebration
After the ceremony, we all went back down to a picnic table surrounded by trees to sign the marriage certificate and certificates of adoption for their wonderful dogs. Jacob’s mom had created a beautiful picnic luncheon and decorated the table magically. It was a wonderful moment of celebration in nature and connection, filled with laughter, love, and the warmth of family and friends.
A magical picnic to celebrate a truly joyous occasion. Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography
A Celebration of Pure Love
One of the highlights for me was the relaxed and genuine atmosphere Jacob and Sydney created. There was no rush, no strict timeline—just an organic flow that allowed everyone to fully savor the experience. From shared laughter to quiet, contemplative moments, the day felt like a celebration of love in its purest form.
A celebration of pure love…Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography
A Reminder of Why I Love What I Do
Jacob and Sydney’s elopement at Washington Pass Overlook reminded me of why I love what I do. As a Professional Wedding Officiant, I have the privilege of witnessing couples step into a new chapter surrounded by love and nature’s beauty. It’s a reminder that the essence of a wedding isn’t in the grandeur but in the authenticity and connection it fosters.
Jacob and Sydney, thank you for trusting me to be a part of your day. Your love is an inspiration, and I am so grateful to have played a small role in your incredible story. Wishing you endless happiness as you continue this journey together!
Holding hands as they walk off into the forest of Larch trees, happily married. Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography.
About Chanelle
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography
Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, Your Celebrant for Life, and the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. With a passion for crafting deeply personal ceremonies, Chanelle helps couples create authentic, meaningful celebrations of love. Whether through intimate elopements, personalized coaching, or VIP retreats, she is dedicated to guiding couples through every step of their journey. Based in the Pacific Northwest, Chanelle draws inspiration from the natural beauty around her and her heartfelt connections with the couples she serves. If this sounds like the type of elopement or intimate wedding for you, reach out to Chanelle today to start the conversation.
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: Lessons for Lasting Love
At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, we believe marriage is more than a milestone—it’s a journey of partnership, trust, and shared growth. For our clients, who are deeply intentional about building a meaningful life together, understanding how to nurture a lasting marriage is essential.
For couples like you—who are blending ambition with the vulnerability of love—this book is a must-read. Whether you’re planning your wedding, writing your vows, or navigating your early years of marriage, Gottman’s insights can empower you to create a fulfilling and resilient partnership.
Let’s explore some of the key lessons and how they can help you build a marriage that not only lasts but thrives.
The Science of a Lasting Marriage of Love
Dr. Gottman’s expertise is rooted in decades of studying couples. Through rigorous observation, he discovered patterns that predict a marriage’s success or failure. His findings emphasize the importance of emotional connection, effective communication, and managing conflict.
Gottman’s work reveals one key truth: happy marriages are built on mutual respect and understanding. These foundational qualities allow couples to navigate challenges with resilience.
The Four Horsemen: Predictors of Divorce
A cornerstone of Gottman’s research is the concept of the “Four Horsemen.” These are behaviors that often signal marital troubles:
Criticism: Attacking a partner’s character rather than addressing specific actions.
Defensiveness: Refusing to accept responsibility or deflecting blame.
Contempt: Expressing disdain or disrespect toward a partner.
Stonewalling: Withdrawing or shutting down during conflicts.
These behaviors erode trust and intimacy over time. Recognizing and addressing them is crucial for a thriving relationship and a lasting marriage.
Building a Strong Foundation
A successful, lasting marriage requires effort and intention. Gottman emphasizes these pillars for a strong foundation:
1. Friendship
Friendship forms the core of a healthy marriage. Couples who maintain a strong friendship feel emotionally connected. Spend time together, share interests, and express appreciation for each other.
2. Positive Interactions
Gottman highlights the “magic ratio” of positive to negative interactions. Successful couples have at least five positive interactions for every negative one. Compliments, laughter, and acts of kindness reinforce emotional bonds.
3. Effective Conflict Management
Conflict is inevitable, but how couples handle it matters. Instead of avoiding disagreements, address them respectfully. Practice active listening and seek solutions together.
Navigating Conflict
Healthy conflict management is a recurring theme in Gottman’s work. He identifies two types of conflicts: solvable and perpetual.
Solvable Conflicts: These involve specific issues that can be resolved with compromise. For example, deciding how to split household chores.
Perpetual Conflicts: These stem from fundamental differences, like values or personality traits. Couples should aim to understand and accept these differences.
Use soft start-ups to initiate discussions and avoid blame. Express your needs without attacking your partner.
Strengthening Emotional Connection
Emotional intimacy is the heartbeat of a strong marriage. Gottman advises couples to make time for meaningful connection.
1. Create Shared Rituals
Develop routines that foster togetherness. This could include weekly date nights or morning coffee chats.
2. Express Gratitude
Regularly acknowledge your partner’s contributions. Simple gestures of appreciation strengthen trust.
3. Stay Curious
Ask open-ended questions to understand your partner deeply. Show genuine interest in their dreams and challenges.
The Importance of Repair Attempts in a Lasting Marriage of Love
Repair attempts are efforts to de-escalate tension during conflicts. A joke, apology, or affectionate gesture can diffuse negativity. Gottman’s research shows that successful couples value and respond to these efforts.
Practice forgiveness and focus on solutions. This mindset helps partners navigate disagreements without resentment.
How to Make Your Marriage Last
Dr. Gottman’s advice isn’t about perfection. It’s about commitment, kindness, and growth. Here are practical tips to make your marriage last:
Prioritize Your Relationship: Dedicate time and energy to nurture your bond.
Communicate Openly: Share thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
Celebrate Successes Together: Support each other’s achievements and milestones.
Seek Help When Needed: Don’t hesitate to consult a therapist for guidance.
Final Thoughts: Building a Lasting Marriage That Reflects Your Values
At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, we understand that your marriage is an extension of who you are as a couple—your values, dreams, and shared vision for the future. Dr. Gottman’s insights provide a framework for creating a relationship that reflects those aspirations.
Applying these principles takes intention, but the rewards are transformative. A strong, lasting marriage is one where you feel seen, supported, and celebrated. It’s a relationship that evolves with you, fostering both stability and spontaneity.
As you prepare for this exciting chapter, consider how you can integrate these strategies into your relationship. Let your wedding vows reflect not just your love today but your commitment to growing together tomorrow.
How will you make your marriage a reflection of your values and dreams? If you’d like help crafting personal vows or want guidance as you navigate this journey, we’re here for you. Let’s start creating the love story you’ll be proud to share for a lifetime.
Comment below with your thoughts or reach out—we’d love to hear your story!
Through her coaching and officiating, Chanelle creates a space where couples can reflect on their journey and prepare for a meaningful future together. She blends romance with authenticity, ensuring every moment reflects your values and vision.
When Chanelle isn’t officiating ceremonies or offering expert relationship advice, she hosts her podcast, Now You May Kiss, where she shares insights and inspiration for couples at every stage of their journey. Chanelle is here to support your love story—not just on your wedding day, but for a lifetime.
