Please don’t panic, but…

Have you thought about who will officiate your wedding? It’s a question that often gets overlooked in the excitement of wedding planning—until someone (like your photographer, planner, or even your mom) brings it up. Whether you’re just starting to plan your dream ceremony or you’re deep into the details and realizing you still need an officiant, don’t panic.

In this blog post, we’ll explore everything you need to know about wedding officiants, including:

• What exactly is the role of a Wedding Officiant?
• Do you really need one?
• What should you consider when planning your ceremony?

Take a deep breath, and let’s dive in! Your journey to creating a meaningful, personalized, and stress-free wedding ceremony starts here.

Where Do We Start?! Do we need an Officiant for our wedding?

Take time to enjoy just being engaged

First, though, before we get into all things Officiant related, I’d like to add my congratulations on your engagement to the many you have already (I’m sure) received! This is an amazing time and planning your wedding should be fun. You’re preparing a celebration to begin the rest of your lives together. If you haven’t already, take some time away from planning to just breathe and enjoy the bliss of your engagement. 

Please don’t try to do everything yourself

Now that you’ve taken some time just the two of you to enjoy being engaged, let’s chat about wedding planning. I receive a lot of questions from newly engaged couples who don’t even know where to start thinking about their wedding event, let alone their ceremony (the part during which they actually get married) and they start feeling stressed. Fortunately, while there IS a lot to consider when planning a wedding and putting together a wedding ceremony, you don’t have to do everything by yourself.

In fact, for every part of your special day, there is a wedding professional available and desiring to assist you: Wedding Venues, Wedding Planners, Florists, Stylists, and Stationary designers, Party Rentals, Caterers, Bakers, DJ’s, Musicians, Photographers, Videographers, Jewelers, Tailors, Retailers, Hotels AND, of course Officiants (the person who actually does the “marrying part”. 🙂 Thankfully, most of the time, each wedding pro can lead you to another. If you’re looking for a specific wedding professional to help with your special day here in the PNW, please let me know. I have contacts with a lot of amazing professionals.

A Wedding Officiant IS required.

You can start with whomever you want, but my suggestion is that you start with the two of you and your preferred date(s), type of wedding (elopement, intimate wedding, large family gathering, something in between), and the location. Once you have those, I’d suggest finding your officiant, a wedding planner and your photographer. Notice that I mention finding your Officiant first. Of all the professionals couples must have for their wedding, the only one required to get married is an officiant. All of the other wedding pros will help make your event beautiful, special and as stressless as possible, but they aren’t required to get married; in most cases, a Wedding Officiant is.

We’re Eloping – Do we still need an Officiant?

Another question that comes up from couples is related to elopements. This is a bit of a tricky question, because elopements can look and feel like a lot of different things depending on who you’re talking to. I discuss this in a bit more depth on my podcast if you want to check it out. However, the answer is generally the same. In all but eight states (and Washington DC), which allow self-solemnization, couples who want to marry (even if they elope) must have an Officiant. Even in those states though, there are varying requirements for witnesses and documentation.

A Wedding Officiant’s primary role – making sure you’re legal.

Now that you know you need one, let’s clarify the role of a wedding officiant. As your Wedding Officiant, my primary role is to make sure you’re legally married. Yep. It’s a thing. I am legally bound to ensure that you say and do certain things on your wedding day in a proscribed manner.

Declaration of Intent

For instance, in the states of the Pacific Northwest, a couple needs to declare out loud, their desire to marry and that they’re entering into this “agreement” of their own free will.

Recording the Marriage Certificate

In the State of Washington, they also have to sign their marriage certificate with two witnesses and their officiant. Afterward, your Officiant is legally required to return the official, signed Marriage Certificate to the county to be recorded. It may seem like no big deal. It’s just a piece of paper. For some, that is the case, until it isn’t. There are many instances where couples’ documents were not recorded and they have no proof that they were legally married. I officiated a ceremony recently for a couple who had been together for decades, married for ten years and have four children together. They needed proof of their marriage for retirement purposes, but didn’t have it…so we made a big celebration of it on their anniversary, and I made sure it was recorded the next day.

A Wedding Officiant’s Role – Crafting your ceremony and helping with vows

Aside from the legal requirement, another part of your officiant’s role is to create a ceremony that fits your personalities and vision for your perfect celebration. Whether your vision for your ceremony is one that just gets you married and on to the party with your family and friends, or you desire a deeply personal and meaningful elopement or intimate ceremony (my favorites), your officiant can help you. It’s one of my favorite things to do…get to know you as individuals and as a couple and then craft a ceremony that is truly meaningful to you both so that when you look back on your wedding day, the ceremony stands out as one of your favorite parts of the day.

When you’re thinking about your ceremony, most couples think about their vows, as you should. After all, a marriage is more than a legal contract between two people. You’re each making a commitment to one another for life. You’re saying that you’re going to be there with and for each other for the days, weeks, months and years to come…no matter what. How you choose to voice those promises during your wedding ceremony is something the two of you want to decide together and talk about with your Officiant. This is another very important part of your Officiant’s role during the ceremony creation process: to make sure that you have support determining what type of vows you want to exchange and if you want to share personal vows, they can help you get started writing them.

A Wedding Officiant’s Role – Celebrating your nuptials

Celebrating your ceremony is where most couples think about the role of a Wedding Officiant. Even if you haven’t been to many weddings, you may have seen a movie, television show with a couple at the front of a church or wedding venue exchanging vows with a minister. Often that is the only interaction many have had with a Wedding Officiant until it comes time for their wedding. As a Wedding Officiant, celebrating my couples’ wedding ceremonies is truly one of the highlights of my day.

Tips from a professional Wedding Officiant to help ensure your ceremony is the highlight of your wedding day:

To make sure your ceremony is the highlight of your wedding day, here are a few things to think about. You’ll also want to discuss them with your Officiant:

• How do you want your ceremony to feel for you and your guests? If you start here, your Officiant can help you with the rest.
• Do you want a faith-based ceremony? Non-religious? A combination? multi-cultural? themed?
• Would you like an outdoor ceremony or indoor ceremony?
• Do you want a large event that includes all your family and friends? Or, do you prefer an intimate affair with just a few?  
• How many people (if any) do you want to be in your wedding party?
• Do you want any readings or music before or during the ceremony? These add to the feel, without adding to the length of your ceremony
• Would you like some traditional vows, to create your own vows or have a combination of the two? and
• What type of unity ritual you would like (if any)? This is a great way to honor your family/ cultural backgrounds.

Length of your ceremony can be impacted by a number of factors

Most non-religious ceremonies officiated by professional officiants take around 15-20 minutes to complete. If you have a lot of elements (readings, live music , etc) it may go a little longer, but not much. I officiated a ceremony for a couple joining both of their families and together they had seven children. The couple wanted each of the children to have a role in the ceremony. With that, their ceremony still only took 30 minutes.

Another factor that may add to the length of your ceremony is escorting elderly or disabled relatives during the processional. It may add a minute or two, but your gesture of love will be most appreciated.

Let’s Recap

Your wedding ceremony is the heart of your special day. Your Wedding Officiant plays a key role in making it legal, personal, and unforgettable. From ensuring all the legalities are covered to crafting a ceremony that reflects your unique love story, an experienced Officiant supports you every step of the way. Whether you’re exchanging deeply personal vows or keeping it simple, your wedding should feel authentic to who you are as a couple.

If you’re ready to start planning your perfect ceremony? Let’s chat! Visit Chanelle Carlin Weddings or send me a message—I’d love to help you create a day you’ll cherish forever.

About Chanelle: 

Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life^TM. She is an ordained minister, professional wedding officiant, coach, owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. Chanelle is also the host of Now You May Kiss Podcast with Chanelle Carlin. She believes that life and love should be celebrated every minute. While Chanelle works throughout the Pacific Northwest primarily, she gladly travels to wherever her couples prefer to marry. As their Celebrant for Life, Chanelle also celebrates the moments that matter in each of her couples’ lives. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington, USA, and totally LOVES her life. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com, on Facebook, Instagram, Linked In or Pinterest.