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How to Write Wedding Vows That Don’t Sound Cheesy (or Like Everyone Else’s)

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Groom reading vows from red journal to laughing bride at Wenatchee
Marc sharing his vows with Letty at their Wenatchee Wedding. Photo courtesy of Tiffany Joy Photography

Create Your Own Timeless Promises with the VowCraft™ Method

If you’re searching online for how to write your wedding vows and every example sounds… well, like it came from the internet — you’re not alone.

You want vows that sound like you. Real, emotional, and beautifully personal — not like a template.

As a Professional Wedding Officiant and Celebrant for Life™, I’ve helped hundreds of couples write vows that brought laughter, tears, and quiet awe to their ceremony.

Here’s how to do the same — using my signature VowCraft™ Method.

What Wedding Vows Really Are (and Why They Matter)

Your vows are the heart of your ceremony — the moment where you promise each other what kind of life you’ll build together.

They’re not just words for the day. They’re your first spoken promises of your marriage — witnessed by the people who love you most.

When you write your own vows, they become something extraordinary: an expression of who you are and the love you’re growing into together.

Chanelle encouraged us to write our own vows to each other and Neil was totally on board with that; She supported and guided us in writing them with her very own VowCraft (TM) Method. It was so special to hear and read those vows to each other during our ceremony.

They were perfectly us! – Sue Thogerson 

The VowCraft™ Method

4 Steps to Writing Vows That Sound Like You

Forget the templates. These four steps will help you create vows that are emotional, authentic, and one-of-a-kind.

1. Begin with Gratitude

Start by thinking about what you’re most thankful for in your partner and in your relationship.

  • What do you love most about them?
  • What moments make you feel most grateful to have found each other?

When you begin with gratitude, your heart naturally opens — and the words start to flow.

2. Honor Who You’re Becoming

Marriage is more than a moment; it’s a journey of becoming.

Reflect on:

  • How you’ve each grown since meeting.
  • Who you’re becoming together.
  • What you want your life and marriage to stand for.

This step helps you create vows that look forward, not just back — the kind of promises that guide your life together.

“Because of you, I’ve learned what partnership really means. I promise to keep becoming the person you believed in from the start.”

3. Make It Personal

The best vows sound exactly like you — not like a Hallmark card.

Mix humor and heart. Share a small detail that only your partner (and maybe your dog) would understand. Ask yourself:

  • What do we say to each other that makes us laugh or melt?
  • How do we show love in the everyday?
  • What promise feels sacred to us?

Your guests should hear your vows and think, “That is so them.”

4. Put It in Writing

Write your vows down — in a notebook, in your phone, or (my favorite) in a beautiful VowCraft™ booklet.

Having them written out keeps you calm and confident on the day.

Even if your voice shakes, you’ll know your words are right there, waiting for you.

Bonus Tips from a Celebrant Who’s Heard It All

Keep it honest, not perfect. Perfection doesn’t move hearts — authenticity does.

Practice aloud. It helps you find your natural rhythm and emotion.

Keep it timeless. A little humor is great, but include a promise that will still make sense on your 25th anniversary.

Think beyond the day. Your vows are love letters to your future selves — reminders of why you chose each other.

The Truth About “Perfect” Vows

There’s no such thing.

But there is something far better: true vows — words that hold your gratitude, your growth, and your genuine love.

That’s what the VowCraft™ Method helps you create.

Because your love story is one-of-a-kind, and your vows should be too.

“Craft vows as timeless as your love. Promises whispered into forever.”
— Chanelle Carlin, Celebrant for Life™

Ready to Begin?

If you’d like guidance as you write your vows — or an officiant who will help you create a ceremony as personal as your promises — I’d be honored to help.

Learn more about the VowCraft™ Method and custom ceremonies at chanellecarlin.com
Or contact me directly to book a complimentary consultation.

Timeless Promises. Forever Love.
Your Forever, In Words.

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin creator of the VowCraft (TM) Method
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant and Your Celebrant for Life™, helping couples create heartfelt, one-of-a-kind ceremonies and vows across the Pacific Northwest and beyond. Through her signature VowCraft™ Method, she guides couples in crafting promises that are authentic, elegant, and deeply personal—timeless words for a love that lasts forever.

Why I Won’t Be Calling Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce About Their Wedding

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gold wedding bands and diamond solitaire engagement ring sitting on large rock. Photo courtesy of Greenhouse Photo Co.
Gold wedding bands and diamond solitaire engagement ring sitting on large rock at Parties on the Terrace. Photo courtesy of Greenhouse Photo Co.

Like many of you, I’ve seen the headlines and heard the speculation about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce possibly getting engaged. And as a Wedding Officiant and Celebrant for Life™, I’ve had more than a few people (including my husband – a HUGE football fan) jokingly ask if I’ve thought about offering my services for what would surely be the wedding of the decade.

Let me set the record straight: I am absolutely ‘over the moon’ delighted for them, if it’s true, but no, I will not be reaching out to Taylor and Travis. Here are five reasons why:

1. Their Love Story Belongs to Them

Every couple I work with deserves the freedom to craft a ceremony that reflects their unique story—not one shaped by outside expectations. Taylor and Travis are already living under the biggest spotlight imaginable – just look at how their one post caused an IG crash. The last thing they need is another voice in the chorus vying for their attention.

2. Privacy is Sacred, Even for Celebrities

I deeply believe in honoring the privacy of couples. Whether I’m officiating a ceremony for two people in a mountain meadow or a vineyard full of family and friends, my role is to hold space for them—not intrude on it. If Taylor and Travis want to invite me, my phone is on. But you won’t see me cold-calling their agents.

3. My Couples Are My Priority

The heart of my work is serving the couples who choose me—whether they’re eloping in Leavenworth, writing vows at my Vow & Vision Weekend™, or saying “I do” at a local winery. I am truly grateful for each of them and my commitment is to be fully present for those couples, not distracted chasing headlines. It’s a promise I make to each couple and it’s included in our agreement.

4. Authenticity Isn’t About Fame

Celebrity weddings can be dazzling, but authenticity is what I value most. The promises spoken at an intimate ceremony between two grounded people mean more to me than a million paparazzi clicks. As your Celebrant for LifeTM, my mission isn’t to collect famous names—it’s to support lifelong love stories.

5. Love Is Bigger Than Spectacle

At the end of the day, marriage isn’t about the dress, the venue, or who officiates. It’s about the marriage itself. My role is to help couples anchor their wedding day in meaning. It’s not about the show. Taylor and Travis already have plenty of that – their careers and success keep them on display all the time. What they choose to create in their marriage—that’s what matters.

So no, you won’t find me sending a DM to Taylor Swift anytime soon. My joy is in standing with the couples who invite me into their lives, crafting ceremonies that reflect their truth, and walking with them beyond “I do” as their Celebrant for Life™.

And honestly? That feels like the most important stage of all. 💛

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin feeling gratitude in front of lilac bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner.
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is an award-winning, professional Wedding Officiant and your Celebrant for LifeTM . She is also the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. With a passion for celebrating marriage and crafting deeply personal ceremonies, Chanelle helps couples create authentic, meaningful celebrations of love. Whether through elopements, intimate weddings, personalized coaching, or VIP retreats, she is dedicated to guiding couples through every step of their journey. Based in the Pacific Northwest, Chanelle draws inspiration from the natural beauty around her and her heartfelt connections with the couples she serves. If this sounds like the type of elopement or intimate wedding for you, reach out to Chanelle today to start the conversation. If you’re looking for more wedding inspiration, you can also find her hosting the Now You May KissTM Podcast.

Building the Wedding Team of Your Dreams:

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Why the Right Professionals Make All the Difference

Finally Official: Emily and Jared with their witnesses and Officiant Chanelle at Siren Song Winery. Photo courtesy of Svetlana Sauer Photography

When you picture your wedding day, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s walking down the aisle toward the love of your life, or the sacred moment you speak your vows. Perhaps it’s the joy on your family’s faces, or the laughter that lingers long after the reception ends. Here’s the truth: none of those moments happen by accident. They’re made possible by a team of dedicated wedding professionals who care deeply about your vision, your experience, and your love story.

As a professional Wedding Officiant and YOUR Celebrant for Life™, I’ve been honored to walk alongside hundreds of couples across the Pacific Northwest. And I’ve seen firsthand: when your wedding team is in harmony—with you and with one another—you get to feel fully present in your day. No stress. No distractions. Just you, your partner, and the sacred joy of becoming a married couple.

So how do you build the wedding team to bring your vision to life? Let’s explore why it matters—and how to choose professionals who will honor your story.

Why Your Wedding Team Matters

Think of your wedding day as a symphony. Each professional plays a vital role, and together they create harmony:

  • Wedding Planner/Coordinator – The conductor of the day. They ensure everything flows seamlessly, handling details and surprises with grace so you never feel rushed or overwhelmed. For the wedding pictured above, I was honored to work with the incredibly talented and collaborative, Erin from Ellie Haisch Weddings and Events
  • Photographer & Videographer – The memory keepers. They preserve the moments you’ll relive for a lifetime without ever pulling you out of the present.
  • DJ/Musician – The atmosphere setters. They shape the energy, from the reverence of your vows to the celebration on the dance floor.
  • Venue Staff – The foundation of your celebration. Their attentiveness and hospitality create a welcoming experience for every guest.
  • Specialists (like translators, florists, or cultural consultants) – The connectors. They weave in the traditions, languages, and details that make your wedding deeply personal.
  • Officiant/Celebrant – The heart of it all. We hold space for your story, guide you through your sacred promises, and craft a ceremony that reflects not just who you are—but who you are becoming as a married couple.

When your team is composed of professionals who care as much about your love as you do, your wedding becomes more than an event. It becomes a transformative experience—a moment where two lives are united, witnessed, and celebrated.

The Risks of a “Just Good Enough” Team

It can be tempting to choose vendors based on price alone or to settle for some other reason…perhaps you’re feeling pressured for time and you know this person is available on your date. But here’s what many couples discover: you’re not simply hiring people to complete tasks. You’re inviting them into one of the most intimate and emotional days of your life.

Choosing “good enough” often results in:

  • Stressful miscommunications
  • Awkward or rushed transitions during your ceremony
  • Missed or poorly captured memories
  • Music or flow that doesn’t reflect your mood or your vision for your celebration
  • Guests who feel overlooked
  • A couple who feels more like event managers than newlyweds

The right team, on the other hand, anticipates your needs before you voice them, collaborates seamlessly, and allows you to stay grounded in what matters most—your marriage.

How to Build Your Wedding Team

Here are a few guiding principles to help you create the team that will support your vision and values:

  • Start with Your Values
    Ask yourselves: What do we want to feel on our wedding day? Calm? Intimate? Joy-filled? Luxurious? Choose vendors whose work and energy naturally align with that intention.
  • Do Your Research
    Read reviews, explore portfolios, and listen to how couples describe their experiences. Pay attention to words like cared for, supported, understood—those matter as much as the photos or playlists.
  • Seek True Collaborators
    The best wedding professionals don’t work in silos. They collaborate with one another, ensuring the entire day feels cohesive and effortless. Notice if potential vendors speak respectfully of others and emphasize teamwork.
  • Prioritize Clear Communication
    From your first email to your last planning call, your team should make you feel heard and cared for. Trust the professionals who give you peace of mind before the wedding—they’ll give you the same on the wedding day.
  • Choose Professionals Who See You
    The most powerful wedding teams are made up of people who see beyond the event details. They ask about your story, your priorities, and your dreams. They care about you as a couple, not just the date on the calendar.

A Wedding Day That’s Truly Yours

At its heart, your wedding isn’t about flowers, playlists, or photo lists. It’s about stepping into marriage feeling fully present, supported, and surrounded by love.

When you choose a wedding team that works in harmony, you’re giving yourself the gift of presence. You get to look into your partner’s eyes, laugh with your guests, and soak in every sacred moment—confident that your team is carrying the rest.

As YOUR Celebrant for Life™, it’s my honor to collaborate with extraordinary wedding professionals across Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and beyond. Together, we ensure your wedding isn’t just well-executed—it’s deeply meaningful, unforgettable, and entirely yours.

Because here’s the truth: your wedding team isn’t just part of your day. They’re part of your story. Choose wisely, and your wedding day, the beginning of a marriage, becomes a beautiful memory that lasts a lifetime.

If you’re looking for an officiant who will help you create not just a wedding, but a legacy of love, I’d love to walk this journey with you. Book your complimentary consultation with me today.

Let’s Chat, Chanelle

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin feeling gratitude in front of lilac bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner.
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is an award-winning, professional Wedding Officiant and your Celebrant for LifeTM . She is also the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. With a passion for crafting deeply personal ceremonies, Chanelle helps couples create authentic, meaningful celebrations of love. Whether through elopements, intimate weddings, personalized coaching, or VIP retreats, she is dedicated to guiding couples through every step of their journey. Based in the Pacific Northwest, Chanelle draws inspiration from the natural beauty around her and her heartfelt connections with the couples she serves. If this sounds like the type of elopement or intimate wedding for you, reach out to Chanelle today to start the conversation. If you’re looking for more wedding inspiration, you can also find her hosting the Now You May KissTM Podcast.

Debunking Wedding Ceremony Myths with Officiant, Author, and Speaker Chris Shelley

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New Episode Alert: Wedding Ceremony Myths Busted with Chris Shelley

Planning a wedding is often a beautiful journey filled with excitement, joy, and love—but let’s be honest, it can also come with a lot of pressure to do things a certain way. If you’ve ever felt boxed in by outdated traditions or wedding day “rules,” you’re not alone. Read below to see how my guest, Chris Shelley, and I do some serious debunking of Wedding Ceremony Myths.

This week on the Now You May Kiss™ Podcast, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with the hilarious, wise, and deeply heartfelt Chris Shelley—a professional wedding officiant, Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant, speaker, and the author of Best. Ceremony. Ever. Chris is known for creating refreshingly honest, personal, and often laugh-out-loud ceremonies for couples who want their wedding day to feel just right for them.

A Conversation Full of Laughter, Love, and Real Talk

Chris and I got real about some of the most common wedding ceremony myths that couples still feel obligated to follow—even at modern, non-traditional weddings! And let me tell you, this was no dry checklist conversation. It was funny, sometimes a little irreverent, and always packed with love and wisdom.

Whether you’re planning a black-tie celebration or a cozy destination elopement, this episode will inspire you to rethink what’s “traditional” and step fully into what’s true for you.

7 Wedding Ceremony Myths We Officially Debunked

Here are just a few wedding ceremony myths Chris and I joyfully busted during our conversation:

“You can’t see each other before the ceremony.”
Yes, you can—and for some couples, a first look or private moment before the ceremony brings calm, connection, and a sense of sacred intimacy.

“Weddings always start late.”
Not if you don’t want them to! With a well-planned timeline and an experienced officiant and planner, your ceremony can begin exactly when it’s meant to.

“The officiant must stand between you during your vows.”
Not true! Chris and I both agree—stepping aside during your vows creates a more powerful, connected moment for you and your guests.

“You have to sign your marriage license after the ceremony.”
Actually, you can sign before, DURING or after—it all depends on what feels best for your flow of the day. Spoiler alert, signing before or during your ceremony allows you just to get to the celebrating all the more quickly afterward.

“Outdoor weddings must go on outdoors—no matter the weather.”
You and your guests deserve to be comfortable and safe. A stunning backup plan isn’t a failure—it’s good design.

“You need a large wedding party.”
You don’t need 14 people in matching outfits to feel supported. A meaningful ceremony can be intimate, relaxed, and still elegant.

“Personal vows should be kept private.”
We say: if you want to share your heart in front of your loved ones, do it. That’s where the magic lives.

Why This Matters for Your Wedding Ceremony

If you’re a couple who values intentionality, authenticity, and unforgettable moments, then these myth-busting truths will help you confidently shape a ceremony that reflects your real love story—not someone else’s expectations.

Regardless of budget, your ceremony deserves to be a celebration of your hearts, your values, and your journey—crafted with care, creativity, and maybe even a little comedy.

Meet Chris Shelley

Chris Shelley has been crafting beautiful, deeply personal, and yes—sometimes laugh-out-loud funny—wedding ceremonies since 2011. He’s the author of Best. Ceremony. Ever. (W.W. Norton), speaks regularly at Wedding MBA and other top-tier industry events, and is the owner of Illuminating Ceremonies in New York.

📍 Visit Chris’ Website
📸 Follow Chris on Instagram

Your Ceremony, Your Way

If this conversation lit a fire in your heart and you’re dreaming of a wedding ceremony that’s elegant, intentional, and uniquely yours, I would love to help bring your vision to life.

Whether you’re eloping in the mountains of Washington or the Oregon coast, exchanging vows at a private estate in Coeur d’Alene, or planning an unforgettable destination celebration, your ceremony should be as extraordinary as your love.

Click here to connect with me and learn more about working together

Let’s create a moment you’ll remember forever—for all the right reasons.

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin feeling gratitude in front of lilac bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner.
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin not only hosts the Now You May KissTM Podcast, she is, first and foremost, a Professional Wedding Officiant, Your Celebrant for LifeTM, and the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. With a passion for crafting deeply personal ceremonies, Chanelle helps couples create authentic, meaningful celebrations of love. Whether through intimate elopements, personalized coaching, or VIP retreats, she is dedicated to guiding couples through every step of their journey. Based in the Pacific Northwest, Chanelle draws inspiration from the natural beauty around her and her heartfelt connections with the couples she serves. If this sounds like the type of elopement or intimate wedding for you, reach out to Chanelle today to start the conversation.

The Power of Gratitude in Marriage

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Chanelle Carlin Weddings Thankful Thursday image with quote by Deng Ming-Dao, photo of Chanelle Carlin and transparent images of flowers in background.

“The appreciation of life does not require wealth or plenty. It requires only gratitude for the beauty of the world.”—Deng Ming-Dao

Gratitude is a powerful force. It turns ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. It reminds us that love, not luxury, is what makes life meaningful. For couples stepping into marriage and those celebrating decades together, gratitude is one of the strongest pillars of a lasting and joyful relationship.

Gratitude in the Early Days

Newly engaged couples often dream of a perfect wedding day. They envision beautiful details, stunning venues, and unforgettable experiences. While those are wonderful, they aren’t what make a wedding truly special. What matters most is the love between two people and the commitment they share.

When couples focus on gratitude, they shift their perspective. Instead of stressing over every detail, they appreciate the journey. They recognize the joy of planning a day that celebrates their love. Focusing on gratitude allows them to cherish the support of friends and family. They are thankful for each other’s presence, knowing that this day marks the beginning of a lifetime together.

Gratitude helps couples embrace imperfection. If it rains on your wedding day, you can complain or dance in the rain. If the cake isn’t perfect, you can laugh and enjoy it anyway. A grateful heart sees beauty in every moment.

As Your Celebrant for LifeTM, I help couples focus on gratitude from the very beginning. Through personalized ceremonies, vow coaching, and heartfelt celebrations, I guide couples in creating a wedding experience built on love and appreciation. This foundation of gratitude will carry them through a lifetime together.

Building a Marriage on Gratitude

Gratitude shouldn’t stop after the wedding day. In fact, it’s even more important in the years that follow. Marriage isn’t always easy. There will be challenges, misunderstandings, and unexpected twists. But gratitude can strengthen the bond between two people and help them weather any storm.

Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, found that people who practice gratitude are happier, healthier, and more resilient. Couples who regularly express appreciation for each other tend to have stronger, more fulfilling marriages.

It’s easy to take your partner for granted when life gets busy. But saying “thank you” for the small things—making coffee, listening after a long day, or offering a kind word—builds emotional connection. Gratitude reminds you why you fell in love in the first place. It keeps the focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong.

Growing Old Together with a Thankful Heart

Long-lasting marriages are built on love, commitment, and gratitude. Couples who celebrate 30, 40, or even 50 years together often say that gratitude played a big role in their success.

Life changes over the years. Careers shift, children grow up, and health challenges arise. But through all of it, a grateful heart finds joy in the present moment. Instead of longing for the past or worrying about the future, grateful couples embrace today.

They celebrate each anniversary as a gift. These couples appreciate the simple moments—holding hands, sharing a meal, or watching the sunset together. They focus on what they have, not what they lack.

When a couple expresses gratitude, they create a positive cycle. They feel valued, which strengthens their bond and deepens their love.

Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude in Marriage

Practicing gratitude doesn’t require grand gestures. Small, daily acts of appreciation make the biggest difference. Here are a few ways to bring more gratitude into your marriage:

  1. Say “Thank You” Often – Notice the little things your partner does and express appreciation.
  2. Write Love Notes – A simple note of gratitude can brighten your partner’s day.
  3. Keep a Gratitude Journal – Write down one thing you’re grateful for about your spouse each day.
  4. Celebrate Each Other’s Wins – Cheer for each other’s successes, big or small.
  5. Reflect on Happy Memories – Reminiscing about good times strengthens your connection.
  6. Practice Active Listening – Give your partner your full attention and appreciate their thoughts.
  7. Create Gratitude Rituals – End each day by sharing one thing you’re grateful for about each other.

The Beauty of a Grateful Heart

Marriage isn’t about having more—it’s about appreciating what you already have. It’s about choosing love, joy, and gratitude every single day. Whether you’re just starting your journey together or celebrating decades of love, a grateful heart will guide you through the highs and lows.

This Thankful Thursday, take a moment to reflect on your partner. What do you love about them? What small things do they do that make your life better? How can you show more appreciation today?

Gratitude doesn’t require wealth or plenty. It only requires an open heart and a willingness to see the beauty in your life. And that, my friends, is the secret to a truly happy marriage.

Ready to Celebrate Your Love?

If you and your partner are looking for a Wedding Officiant who will help you celebrate the start of your marriage with joy, intention, and gratitude, I’d love to connect with you. Whether you’re planning an intimate elopement or a family-filled celebration, I’m here to help you create a ceremony that reflects your love and appreciation for each other. Reach out today, and let’s start crafting your perfect day together.

We’re ready to chat with Chanelle

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin feeling gratitude in front of lilac bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner.
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, coach, and Your Celebrant for Life. Through Chanelle Carlin Weddings, she helps couples create meaningful, joyful wedding ceremonies and navigate their journey to marriage with confidence. Whether officiating elopements, hosting VIP retreats, or guiding couples through vow writing, Chanelle brings warmth, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for love. Learn more at chanellecarlin.com. You can also connect with Chanelle via social media at IG, LI and X and through her podcast, Now You May Kiss TM

A Celebration in Nature

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Reflections on Jacob and Sydney’s Relaxed Elopement Ceremony at Washington Pass Overlook

A Day in Nature’s Embrace

There’s something profoundly magical about officiating a wedding in the heart of nature. On October 1, 2024, I had the honor of officiating Jacob and Sydney’s intimate and relaxed elopement ceremony at the breathtaking Washington Pass Overlook in Okanogan County, WA. As the leaves began their autumn transformation and the majestic peaks stood sentinel over the moment, love truly took center stage…a celebration in nature.

A Couple Who Cherished Simplicity

From the moment I met Jacob and Sydney, it was clear they were a couple who cherished simplicity and authenticity. Their vision for the day was heartfelt and stress-free. Their choice of Washington Pass Overlook reflected their deep appreciation for natural beauty. This location, with its sweeping vistas and serene ambiance, provided the perfect backdrop for their love story.

Sweeping vistas of Washington Pass Overlook, North Cascades, Okanogan County, WA. Photo Courtesy of The Foxes Photography

A Windy Adventure with Thoughtful Details

Typically Autumn in the Pacific Northwest, it was quite a windy day, and the temperatures were cooling down. At times, we all felt a bit blown about, but the weather added an element of adventure to the occasion. Jacob, ever thoughtful, brought a new blanket for Sydney to wear around her shoulders so she wouldn’t be cold. She wore it off and on throughout the day. It was truly a touching symbol of his care and love for Sydney.

Honoring a Beloved Mother

Though Sydney’s mom passed away a number of years ago, she found a heartfelt way to include her memory in the day. Attached by a ribbon to her bouquet was a charm with a photo of her mom, a beautiful reminder that her presence was felt in spirit.

Bride holding bouquet with photo charm to honor mother who has passed away.
Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography

Capturing Every Moment

Hannah Aspen, the incredibly talented photographer from The Foxes Photography, captured every moment with an artistic eye. Her ability to frame the vast landscapes while highlighting the tender moments between Jacob and Sydney was nothing short of extraordinary. As the golden sunlight filtered through the trees, Hannah worked her magic, ensuring their memories were immortalized in breathtaking detail. This is the second elopement I’ve been fortunate to work with Hannah on and I look forward to more opportunities in the future. Looking at the photos even now, I feel like I am right there.

A Ceremony Filled with Love

Jacob’s parents and Sydney’s best friend, along with her husband, were present to witness the ceremony. The intimacy of the gathering added a layer of warmth and connection that is often lost in larger celebrations. Their joy and love for the couple were palpable, enhancing the beauty of the occasion.

Officiant, couple and witnesses asking God's blessings during Autumn elopement in the mountains.
Asking God’s blessings on their ceremony and their marriage. Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography
Married couple, witnesses and officiant celebrating their new marriage.
I now pronounce you married! Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography

The ceremony itself was deeply personal, reflecting Jacob and Sydney’s unique journey. Standing before their closest loved ones, they shared heartfelt vows that resonated with authenticity and vulnerability. Every word spoken was a testament to the life they have built together and the future they envision.

A Magical Picnic Celebration

After the ceremony, we all went back down to a picnic table surrounded by trees to sign the marriage certificate and certificates of adoption for their wonderful dogs. Jacob’s mom had created a beautiful picnic luncheon and decorated the table magically. It was a wonderful moment of celebration in nature and connection, filled with laughter, love, and the warmth of family and friends.

A magical picnic to celebrate a truly joyous occasion. Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography

A Celebration of Pure Love

One of the highlights for me was the relaxed and genuine atmosphere Jacob and Sydney created. There was no rush, no strict timeline—just an organic flow that allowed everyone to fully savor the experience. From shared laughter to quiet, contemplative moments, the day felt like a celebration of love in its purest form.

A celebration of pure love…Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography

A Reminder of Why I Love What I Do

Jacob and Sydney’s elopement at Washington Pass Overlook reminded me of why I love what I do. As a Professional Wedding Officiant, I have the privilege of witnessing couples step into a new chapter surrounded by love and nature’s beauty. It’s a reminder that the essence of a wedding isn’t in the grandeur but in the authenticity and connection it fosters.

Jacob and Sydney, thank you for trusting me to be a part of your day. Your love is an inspiration, and I am so grateful to have played a small role in your incredible story. Wishing you endless happiness as you continue this journey together!

Bride in white dress, groom in rust-colored suit, holding hands walking into forest of yellowing Larch trees.
Holding hands as they walk off into the forest of Larch trees, happily married. Photo courtesy of The Foxes Photography.

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin standing in front of lavender bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, Your Celebrant for Life, and the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC. With a passion for crafting deeply personal ceremonies, Chanelle helps couples create authentic, meaningful celebrations of love. Whether through intimate elopements, personalized coaching, or VIP retreats, she is dedicated to guiding couples through every step of their journey. Based in the Pacific Northwest, Chanelle draws inspiration from the natural beauty around her and her heartfelt connections with the couples she serves. If this sounds like the type of elopement or intimate wedding for you, reach out to Chanelle today to start the conversation.

How to Create a Lasting Marriage of Love – A Book Review

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Elderly, long-married couple walking along a trail in autumn
Image by Eddie K from Pixabay

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: Lessons for Lasting Love

At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, we believe marriage is more than a milestone—it’s a journey of partnership, trust, and shared growth. For our clients, who are deeply intentional about building a meaningful life together, understanding how to nurture a lasting marriage is essential.

Dr. John Gottman’s book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last, is a guide to unlocking the secrets of successful marriages. Based on five decades of research, it offers practical, science-backed tools to strengthen emotional connection and resolve conflicts effectively.

For couples like you—who are blending ambition with the vulnerability of love—this book is a must-read. Whether you’re planning your wedding, writing your vows, or navigating your early years of marriage, Gottman’s insights can empower you to create a fulfilling and resilient partnership.

Let’s explore some of the key lessons and how they can help you build a marriage that not only lasts but thrives.

The Science of a Lasting Marriage of Love

Dr. Gottman’s expertise is rooted in decades of studying couples. Through rigorous observation, he discovered patterns that predict a marriage’s success or failure. His findings emphasize the importance of emotional connection, effective communication, and managing conflict.

Gottman’s work reveals one key truth: happy marriages are built on mutual respect and understanding. These foundational qualities allow couples to navigate challenges with resilience.

The Four Horsemen: Predictors of Divorce

A cornerstone of Gottman’s research is the concept of the “Four Horsemen.” These are behaviors that often signal marital troubles:

  • Criticism: Attacking a partner’s character rather than addressing specific actions.
  • Defensiveness: Refusing to accept responsibility or deflecting blame.
  • Contempt: Expressing disdain or disrespect toward a partner.
  • Stonewalling: Withdrawing or shutting down during conflicts.

These behaviors erode trust and intimacy over time. Recognizing and addressing them is crucial for a thriving relationship and a lasting marriage.

Building a Strong Foundation

A successful, lasting marriage requires effort and intention. Gottman emphasizes these pillars for a strong foundation:

1. Friendship

Friendship forms the core of a healthy marriage. Couples who maintain a strong friendship feel emotionally connected. Spend time together, share interests, and express appreciation for each other.

2. Positive Interactions

Gottman highlights the “magic ratio” of positive to negative interactions. Successful couples have at least five positive interactions for every negative one. Compliments, laughter, and acts of kindness reinforce emotional bonds.

3. Effective Conflict Management

Conflict is inevitable, but how couples handle it matters. Instead of avoiding disagreements, address them respectfully. Practice active listening and seek solutions together.

Navigating Conflict

Healthy conflict management is a recurring theme in Gottman’s work. He identifies two types of conflicts: solvable and perpetual.

  • Solvable Conflicts: These involve specific issues that can be resolved with compromise. For example, deciding how to split household chores.
  • Perpetual Conflicts: These stem from fundamental differences, like values or personality traits. Couples should aim to understand and accept these differences.

Use soft start-ups to initiate discussions and avoid blame. Express your needs without attacking your partner.

Strengthening Emotional Connection

Emotional intimacy is the heartbeat of a strong marriage. Gottman advises couples to make time for meaningful connection.

1. Create Shared Rituals

Develop routines that foster togetherness. This could include weekly date nights or morning coffee chats.

2. Express Gratitude

Regularly acknowledge your partner’s contributions. Simple gestures of appreciation strengthen trust.

3. Stay Curious

Ask open-ended questions to understand your partner deeply. Show genuine interest in their dreams and challenges.

The Importance of Repair Attempts in a Lasting Marriage of Love

Repair attempts are efforts to de-escalate tension during conflicts. A joke, apology, or affectionate gesture can diffuse negativity. Gottman’s research shows that successful couples value and respond to these efforts.

Practice forgiveness and focus on solutions. This mindset helps partners navigate disagreements without resentment.

How to Make Your Marriage Last

Dr. Gottman’s advice isn’t about perfection. It’s about commitment, kindness, and growth. Here are practical tips to make your marriage last:

  • Prioritize Your Relationship: Dedicate time and energy to nurture your bond.
  • Communicate Openly: Share thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
  • Celebrate Successes Together: Support each other’s achievements and milestones.
  • Seek Help When Needed: Don’t hesitate to consult a therapist for guidance.

Final Thoughts: Building a Lasting Marriage That Reflects Your Values

At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, we understand that your marriage is an extension of who you are as a couple—your values, dreams, and shared vision for the future. Dr. Gottman’s insights provide a framework for creating a relationship that reflects those aspirations.

Applying these principles takes intention, but the rewards are transformative. A strong, lasting marriage is one where you feel seen, supported, and celebrated. It’s a relationship that evolves with you, fostering both stability and spontaneity.

As you prepare for this exciting chapter, consider how you can integrate these strategies into your relationship. Let your wedding vows reflect not just your love today but your commitment to growing together tomorrow.

How will you make your marriage a reflection of your values and dreams? If you’d like help crafting personal vows or want guidance as you navigate this journey, we’re here for you. Let’s start creating the love story you’ll be proud to share for a lifetime.

Comment below with your thoughts or reach out—we’d love to hear your story!

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin standing in front of lavender bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, coach, and Your Celebrant for Life. With a deep commitment to helping couples build intentional, lasting relationships, Chanelle offers personalized ceremonies and guidance that celebrate your unique love story.

Through her coaching and officiating, Chanelle creates a space where couples can reflect on their journey and prepare for a meaningful future together. She blends romance with authenticity, ensuring every moment reflects your values and vision.

When Chanelle isn’t officiating ceremonies or offering expert relationship advice, she hosts her podcast, Now You May Kiss, where she shares insights and inspiration for couples at every stage of their journey. Chanelle is here to support your love story—not just on your wedding day, but for a lifetime.

Week 50: Fa La La La – Love during the holidays

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52 Tips to Say I Love You

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, shop before the stores all close. Yuletide carols sung with those you admire, and gifts wrapped up in pretty bows.— Stephen Arterburn and Carl Dreizler (52 Simple Ways to Say I Love You).”

The holiday season—Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa—is upon us, and what better time to say “I love you” than during this magical time of year? Beyond the traditional gift-giving, there are countless ways to make your loved ones feel extra special while embracing the spirit of the holidays. Let’s explore some heartfelt gestures and creative ideas that will fill your holiday season with warmth and connection.

Celebrate Your Loved Ones

Here are a few simple ways to make this season meaningful for the people closest to you:

  • Take charge of holiday shopping—Promise to do most (or all!) of the gift buying, easing their holiday stress.
  • Volunteer as the gift-wrapper—Wrap all the gifts with care (bonus points if you can wrap gifts addressed to you without peeking!).
  • Plan a holiday light adventure—Drive around to see dazzling displays in your community. Even better, walk around your neighborhood to enjoy the lights and get to know your neighbors. 🙂 A fun adventure for the kids (and parents) is to check out a local zoo lights event.
  • Cook the celebration meal—Take the lead in the kitchen and surprise everyone with a delicious feast.
  • Host a festive evening at home—Invite friends or family over to sing carols, watch holiday movies, or play games and share stories of favorite holiday memories.
  • Embrace the magic of snow—Build a snowman or have a snowball fight for a playful afternoon together.
  • Create cozy moments—Roast chestnuts, pop corn in the fireplace, or sip hot cocoa by the fire.
  • Plan a surprise visit—Reconnect with loved ones you haven’t seen in a while to share the joy of the season.
  • Holiday Music brings great joy – if your loved one loves music, why not treat them to a local concert or afternoon of orchestral music.

Share the Joy with Others

This season is a wonderful time to extend love beyond your immediate circle. Consider making the holidays brighter for those in need:

  • Support a local family—Contact a church or social service organization to adopt a family in need. Provide gifts, holiday meals, or even a tree with ornaments.
  • Volunteer at a shelter—Help cook, serve meals, or simply spend time with individuals or families experiencing homelessness.
  • Visit seniors—Reach out to local senior housing communities to share stories, sing songs, or bring small gifts to brighten their days. Many of these folks no longer have families living nearby and love meeting new folks.

Show Love to Animals and Nature

For animal lovers and outdoor enthusiasts, the holidays provide a perfect opportunity to give back:

  • Volunteer at a pet shelter—Spend time with animals in need of care or donate supplies to support their well-being.
  • Donate to wildlife organizations—Help protect local ecosystems and species by contributing to a conservation group.
  • Support parks and trails—Donate or volunteer for trail maintenance, sign repairs, or youth nature education programs. Partner with local tree farms to assist families or elderly individuals in finding and cutting their perfect tree.

Honor Our Service Members

Show gratitude to those who serve and protect by spreading holiday cheer to military families and veterans:

  • Support military families—Contact family support organizations at nearby bases to see how you can help during the holidays.
  • Send care packages overseas—Work with the USO or other groups to send gifts and letters to service members far from home.
  • Volunteer with veterans’ organizations—Spend time with veterans in your community or donate to groups that provide holiday support.

Get Creative

The beauty of the holidays is that there’s no limit to the ways you can express love. Here are some questions to inspire even more ideas:

  • What are the traditions or activities your loved ones cherish most?
  • How can you bring joy to someone who may be feeling lonely or left out this season?
  • What talents or resources do you have that could make someone’s holiday brighter?

Let’s use this festive time to share love, kindness, and gratitude—not just with those closest to us, but with everyone we meet. What are some ways you plan to say “I love you” this holiday season?

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin has always had a special place in her heart for the holiday season. From twinkling lights to the nostalgic scent of evergreen and spiced cider, she finds joy in the traditions that bring people together. Chanelle believes the holidays are the perfect time to say “I love you” in meaningful ways. Some include thoughtful acts of kindness, shared moments with loved ones, or giving back to the community.

As the founder of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, Chanelle’s love for the season extends to holiday weddings. She treasures the unique magic of winter ceremonies. Love shines brightly against the backdrop of snowy landscapes and cozy celebrations. Her mission is to help couples create intimate, heartfelt moments that reflect their story and values.

This holiday season, embrace the spirit of love, with everyone around you. Discover more ways to celebrate love or reach out to Chanelle to help make your holiday wedding dreams come true.

Camera Sly

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Camera Sly blog post image with photos, heart, camera and Chanelle Carlin Weddings logo

“Using photos from your past and captions you have written, give a memory that will last when older you’ll be gettin’.” – Stephen Arterburn and Carl Dreizler

Camera Sly – The Concept

Have you ever noticed how a simple photo can transport you back in time? Whether it’s a graduation shot, a wedding day memory, or a silly childhood moment, these snapshots are so much more than images—they’re touchstones of love, joy, and connection.


Grandchildren understand this instinctively. My great-nephew Ro has been creating pictures for his GGPa (Great Grandpa) for years. GGPa’s fridge has become an ever-evolving gallery of Ro’s artwork, a tangible expression of love that rotates with every new masterpiece. But you don’t have to be a child or a grandparent to use photos to say, “I love you.”


This week’s inspiration comes from 52 Simple Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ by Stephen Arterburn and Carl Dreizler, a treasure trove of creative and heartfelt ideas for showing affection. In their “Camera Sly” chapter, the authors highlight how pairing photos with personal captions can create lasting keepsakes that speak volumes about love and connection. With a little imagination, you can turn your favorite photos into meaningful gestures that resonate for years to come. You can grab your own copy here or anywhere you like to purchase books, but for now, here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Create a Scrapbook of Your Times Together

Dig out those amazing photos from your favorite moments and trace your relationship’s journey. Add new captions that make your loved one laugh, cry, or swoon. Presenting this scrapbook is like handing them a tangible story of your shared love.

2. Dive into Childhood Memories

Make a scrapbook from childhood photos—yours, theirs, or both. Add humorous or heartfelt captions like, “Here you are at 9, rocking your mom’s high heels. Pretty then, pretty now,” or “Bob at 11, putting up basketball nets because he was so tall. Nice legs!” It’s an instant trip down memory lane, infused with love.

3. Turn a Favorite Photo into a Poster

Choose a cherished photo of the two of you and have it enlarged into a poster. Add a loving or funny message for a piece of art that’s as personal as it is decorative.

4. Have a Professional Portrait Taken

If your budget allows, schedule a portrait session. A beautifully captured moment together is a gift that will only grow more precious with time. If you’d like help finding a local photographer, email Chanelle. As a professional wedding officiant, she works with some of the most incredible and talented folks.

5. Frame the Favorites

Take a loved one’s favorite photos and have them framed. It’s a thoughtful way to preserve memories they treasure most.

6. Send Photos Regularly to Long-Distance Loved Ones

For parents, grandparents, or anyone far away, sending physical photos regularly helps them feel connected to your life and love.

Camera Sly – Why This Matters

Photos are more than memories—they’re a way of saying, “I love you.” Whether you’re celebrating shared history or bridging the miles, these tangible tokens remind your loved ones of how deeply you care.


So, go ahead—be a little camera sly this week. Let your photos do the talking and watch the love shine through.

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin standing in front of lavender bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is the heart behind Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC, where she blends creativity, compassion, and a deep love for storytelling to craft unforgettable moments for couples. From intimate elopements in scenic Washington State to personalized vow-writing sessions, Chanelle’s mission is to help couples celebrate their love in meaningful ways.


As the host of the Now You May Kiss podcast, Chanelle shares insights and inspiration on love, weddings, and everything in between. Whether officiating a wedding, curating a bespoke retreat, or guiding couples through the journey of saying “I do,” Chanelle brings passion and authenticity to every detail.


Explore more at ChanelleCarlin.com and let her help you say “I love you” in unforgettable ways.

An Advent Sure

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Week 48: Show Your Love Every Day in December

As the holiday season draws near, it’s time to embrace the magic of giving and show your loved one just how much they mean to you. Inspired by Stephen Arterburn and Carl Dreizler’s 52 Simple Ways to Say I Love You, week 48’s tip is all about creating an “I-Love-You” calendar. Modeled after an Advent Calendar, this thoughtful gesture is designed to make every day in December a celebration of your love.

The Concept: An Advent Calendar of Love

Advent calendars count down the days until Christmas, traditionally revealing a small surprise or treat each day. Why not adapt this idea to express your love? With an “I-Love-You” calendar, you can fill each day with tokens of affection, thoughtful gestures, or small gifts that show your partner how much you cherish them. This personalized twist transforms December into a month-long celebration of your relationship.

Creating Your “I-Love-You” Calendar

Designing your love-filled Advent Calendar can be as simple or elaborate as you wish. Here’s how to get started:

Number the Days: Clearly mark each day in December. If you prefer a shorter version, just count down the 12 days of Christmas.

Choose Your Format: Pick a calendar style that resonates with you and your partner. Options include a traditional hanging Advent calendar, small, numbered boxes, envelopes pinned to a ribbon, or even a digital version for long-distance couples. Pick up a store-bought Advent calendar, take it apart, and cover up the pictures with YOUR pictures, affirmations, symbols, etc.

Customize for Your Love Story: Decorate your calendar with colors, themes, or symbols that reflect your relationship—think photos, inside jokes, or favorite quotes.

Selecting Items for Your Calendar Windows

What goes inside each day’s “window” depends on your creativity and your partner’s preferences. Here are a few ideas:

  • Words of Affirmation: Write a heartfelt note, a favorite memory, or a reason you love them.
  • Small Tokens: Include chocolates, trinkets, or mini ornaments for your tree.
  • Acts of Service: Offer coupons for a back rub, breakfast in bed, or a chore-free evening.
  • Shared Experiences: Plan date nights, movie marathons, or a snowman-building session.
  • Personal Touches: Add items that are meaningful to your partner. Perhaps include a playlist of their favorite songs or a small gift that complements their hobbies.

Making This a December to Remember

To ensure this becomes a cherished memory, consider these tips:

  • Plan Ahead: Start brainstorming in November to give yourself plenty of time to gather or create the surprises.
  • Be Consistent: Commit to delivering each day’s surprise with love and care.
  • End with Impact: Choose a few days at the end of the month to make a real impact. Make December 24th or 25th extra special with a larger gift, a handwritten letter, or an unforgettable romantic gesture. OR, how about making sure to continue through December 31st for real, meaningful impact.

This thoughtful tradition shows your partner how much they’re loved and brings joy and anticipation to your holiday season.

About Chanelle Carlin Weddings

At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC, we believe in creating unforgettable moments that celebrate love in all its forms. Whether it’s crafting a heartfelt, custom wedding ceremony or sharing tips to strengthen your relationship, we’re here to make your journey extraordinary. Stay tuned as we wrap up the year with love and ideas from the 52 Simple Ways to Say I Love You series.

Embrace the spirit of the season and show your love with an “Advent Sure.” Happy December!

Chanelle Carlin standing in front of lavender bush, holding sunglasses. Logo in top left corner
Photo credit: Roxanne Best, Roxtography

Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for LifeTM. She is an ordained minister and professional wedding officiant with a passion for celebrating love and life. Chanelle also coaches couples, believing that every moment of life and love deserves to be cherished. Chanelle works closely with couples who have cultivated strong relationships and are ready to embark on the journey of marriage with a unique and unforgettable ceremony. As your Celebrant for LifeTM, she is dedicated to honoring all of your special milestones. Chanelle is also the host of Now You May Kiss (TM) Podcast. Her podcast focuses on your bespoke, outdoor elopement or intimate wedding Ceremony in the Pacific Northwest. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com or on social media on FB, LI and IG.