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“The appreciation of life does not require wealth or plenty. It requires only gratitude for the beauty of the world.”—Deng Ming-Dao

Gratitude is a powerful force. It turns ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. It reminds us that love, not luxury, is what makes life meaningful. For couples stepping into marriage and those celebrating decades together, gratitude is one of the strongest pillars of a lasting and joyful relationship.

Gratitude in the Early Days

Newly engaged couples often dream of a perfect wedding day. They envision beautiful details, stunning venues, and unforgettable experiences. While those are wonderful, they aren’t what make a wedding truly special. What matters most is the love between two people and the commitment they share.

When couples focus on gratitude, they shift their perspective. Instead of stressing over every detail, they appreciate the journey. They recognize the joy of planning a day that celebrates their love. Focusing on gratitude allows them to cherish the support of friends and family. They are thankful for each other’s presence, knowing that this day marks the beginning of a lifetime together.

Gratitude helps couples embrace imperfection. If it rains on your wedding day, you can complain or dance in the rain. If the cake isn’t perfect, you can laugh and enjoy it anyway. A grateful heart sees beauty in every moment.

As Your Celebrant for Life^TM, I help couples focus on gratitude from the very beginning. Through personalized ceremonies, vow coaching, and heartfelt celebrations, I guide couples in creating a wedding experience built on love and appreciation. This foundation of gratitude will carry them through a lifetime together.

Building a Marriage on Gratitude

Gratitude shouldn’t stop after the wedding day. In fact, it’s even more important in the years that follow. Marriage isn’t always easy. There will be challenges, misunderstandings, and unexpected twists. But gratitude can strengthen the bond between two people and help them weather any storm.

Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, found that people who practice gratitude are happier, healthier, and more resilient. Couples who regularly express appreciation for each other tend to have stronger, more fulfilling marriages.

It’s easy to take your partner for granted when life gets busy. But saying “thank you” for the small things—making coffee, listening after a long day, or offering a kind word—builds emotional connection. Gratitude reminds you why you fell in love in the first place. It keeps the focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong.

Growing Old Together with a Thankful Heart

Long-lasting marriages are built on love, commitment, and gratitude. Couples who celebrate 30, 40, or even 50 years together often say that gratitude played a big role in their success.

Life changes over the years. Careers shift, children grow up, and health challenges arise. But through all of it, a grateful heart finds joy in the present moment. Instead of longing for the past or worrying about the future, grateful couples embrace today.

They celebrate each anniversary as a gift. These couples appreciate the simple moments—holding hands, sharing a meal, or watching the sunset together. They focus on what they have, not what they lack.

When a couple expresses gratitude, they create a positive cycle. They feel valued, which strengthens their bond and deepens their love.

Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude in Marriage

Practicing gratitude doesn’t require grand gestures. Small, daily acts of appreciation make the biggest difference. Here are a few ways to bring more gratitude into your marriage:

1. Say “Thank You” Often – Notice the little things your partner does and express appreciation.
2. Write Love Notes – A simple note of gratitude can brighten your partner’s day.
3. Keep a Gratitude Journal – Write down one thing you’re grateful for about your spouse each day.
4. Celebrate Each Other’s Wins – Cheer for each other’s successes, big or small.
5. Reflect on Happy Memories – Reminiscing about good times strengthens your connection.
6. Practice Active Listening – Give your partner your full attention and appreciate their thoughts.
7. Create Gratitude Rituals – End each day by sharing one thing you’re grateful for about each other.

The Beauty of a Grateful Heart

Marriage isn’t about having more—it’s about appreciating what you already have. It’s about choosing love, joy, and gratitude every single day. Whether you’re just starting your journey together or celebrating decades of love, a grateful heart will guide you through the highs and lows.

This Thankful Thursday, take a moment to reflect on your partner. What do you love about them? What small things do they do that make your life better? How can you show more appreciation today?

Gratitude doesn’t require wealth or plenty. It only requires an open heart and a willingness to see the beauty in your life. And that, my friends, is the secret to a truly happy marriage.

Ready to Celebrate Your Love?

If you and your partner are looking for a Wedding Officiant who will help you celebrate the start of your marriage with joy, intention, and gratitude, I’d love to connect with you. Whether you’re planning an intimate elopement or a family-filled celebration, I’m here to help you create a ceremony that reflects your love and appreciation for each other. Reach out today, and let’s start crafting your perfect day together.

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, coach, and Your Celebrant for Life. Through Chanelle Carlin Weddings, she helps couples create meaningful, joyful wedding ceremonies and navigate their journey to marriage with confidence. Whether officiating elopements, hosting VIP retreats, or guiding couples through vow writing, Chanelle brings warmth, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for love. Learn more at chanellecarlin.com. You can also connect with Chanelle via social media at IG, LI and X and through her podcast, Now You May Kiss ^TM

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: Lessons for Lasting Love

At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, we believe marriage is more than a milestone—it’s a journey of partnership, trust, and shared growth. For our clients, who are deeply intentional about building a meaningful life together, understanding how to nurture a lasting marriage is essential.

Dr. John Gottman’s book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last, is a guide to unlocking the secrets of successful marriages. Based on five decades of research, it offers practical, science-backed tools to strengthen emotional connection and resolve conflicts effectively.

For couples like you—who are blending ambition with the vulnerability of love—this book is a must-read. Whether you’re planning your wedding, writing your vows, or navigating your early years of marriage, Gottman’s insights can empower you to create a fulfilling and resilient partnership.

Let’s explore some of the key lessons and how they can help you build a marriage that not only lasts but thrives.

The Science of a Lasting Marriage of Love

Dr. Gottman’s expertise is rooted in decades of studying couples. Through rigorous observation, he discovered patterns that predict a marriage’s success or failure. His findings emphasize the importance of emotional connection, effective communication, and managing conflict.

Gottman’s work reveals one key truth: happy marriages are built on mutual respect and understanding. These foundational qualities allow couples to navigate challenges with resilience.

The Four Horsemen: Predictors of Divorce

A cornerstone of Gottman’s research is the concept of the “Four Horsemen.” These are behaviors that often signal marital troubles:

• Criticism: Attacking a partner’s character rather than addressing specific actions.
• Defensiveness: Refusing to accept responsibility or deflecting blame.
• Contempt: Expressing disdain or disrespect toward a partner.
• Stonewalling: Withdrawing or shutting down during conflicts.

These behaviors erode trust and intimacy over time. Recognizing and addressing them is crucial for a thriving relationship and a lasting marriage.

Building a Strong Foundation

A successful, lasting marriage requires effort and intention. Gottman emphasizes these pillars for a strong foundation:

1. Friendship

Friendship forms the core of a healthy marriage. Couples who maintain a strong friendship feel emotionally connected. Spend time together, share interests, and express appreciation for each other.

2. Positive Interactions

Gottman highlights the “magic ratio” of positive to negative interactions. Successful couples have at least five positive interactions for every negative one. Compliments, laughter, and acts of kindness reinforce emotional bonds.

3. Effective Conflict Management

Conflict is inevitable, but how couples handle it matters. Instead of avoiding disagreements, address them respectfully. Practice active listening and seek solutions together.

Navigating Conflict

Healthy conflict management is a recurring theme in Gottman’s work. He identifies two types of conflicts: solvable and perpetual.

• Solvable Conflicts: These involve specific issues that can be resolved with compromise. For example, deciding how to split household chores.
• Perpetual Conflicts: These stem from fundamental differences, like values or personality traits. Couples should aim to understand and accept these differences.

Use soft start-ups to initiate discussions and avoid blame. Express your needs without attacking your partner.

Strengthening Emotional Connection

Emotional intimacy is the heartbeat of a strong marriage. Gottman advises couples to make time for meaningful connection.

1. Create Shared Rituals

Develop routines that foster togetherness. This could include weekly date nights or morning coffee chats.

2. Express Gratitude

Regularly acknowledge your partner’s contributions. Simple gestures of appreciation strengthen trust.

3. Stay Curious

Ask open-ended questions to understand your partner deeply. Show genuine interest in their dreams and challenges.

The Importance of Repair Attempts in a Lasting Marriage of Love

Repair attempts are efforts to de-escalate tension during conflicts. A joke, apology, or affectionate gesture can diffuse negativity. Gottman’s research shows that successful couples value and respond to these efforts.

Practice forgiveness and focus on solutions. This mindset helps partners navigate disagreements without resentment.

How to Make Your Marriage Last

Dr. Gottman’s advice isn’t about perfection. It’s about commitment, kindness, and growth. Here are practical tips to make your marriage last:

• Prioritize Your Relationship: Dedicate time and energy to nurture your bond.
• Communicate Openly: Share thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
• Celebrate Successes Together: Support each other’s achievements and milestones.
• Seek Help When Needed: Don’t hesitate to consult a therapist for guidance.

Final Thoughts: Building a Lasting Marriage That Reflects Your Values

At Chanelle Carlin Weddings, we understand that your marriage is an extension of who you are as a couple—your values, dreams, and shared vision for the future. Dr. Gottman’s insights provide a framework for creating a relationship that reflects those aspirations.

Applying these principles takes intention, but the rewards are transformative. A strong, lasting marriage is one where you feel seen, supported, and celebrated. It’s a relationship that evolves with you, fostering both stability and spontaneity.

As you prepare for this exciting chapter, consider how you can integrate these strategies into your relationship. Let your wedding vows reflect not just your love today but your commitment to growing together tomorrow.

How will you make your marriage a reflection of your values and dreams? If you’d like help crafting personal vows or want guidance as you navigate this journey, we’re here for you. Let’s start creating the love story you’ll be proud to share for a lifetime.

Comment below with your thoughts or reach out—we’d love to hear your story!

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin is a Professional Wedding Officiant, coach, and Your Celebrant for Life. With a deep commitment to helping couples build intentional, lasting relationships, Chanelle offers personalized ceremonies and guidance that celebrate your unique love story.

Through her coaching and officiating, Chanelle creates a space where couples can reflect on their journey and prepare for a meaningful future together. She blends romance with authenticity, ensuring every moment reflects your values and vision.

When Chanelle isn’t officiating ceremonies or offering expert relationship advice, she hosts her podcast, Now You May Kiss, where she shares insights and inspiration for couples at every stage of their journey. Chanelle is here to support your love story—not just on your wedding day, but for a lifetime.

“Using photos from your past and captions you have written, give a memory that will last when older you’ll be gettin’.” – Stephen Arterburn and Carl Dreizler

Camera Sly – The Concept

Have you ever noticed how a simple photo can transport you back in time? Whether it’s a graduation shot, a wedding day memory, or a silly childhood moment, these snapshots are so much more than images—they’re touchstones of love, joy, and connection.

Grandchildren understand this instinctively. My great-nephew Ro has been creating pictures for his GGPa (Great Grandpa) for years. GGPa’s fridge has become an ever-evolving gallery of Ro’s artwork, a tangible expression of love that rotates with every new masterpiece. But you don’t have to be a child or a grandparent to use photos to say, “I love you.”

This week’s inspiration comes from 52 Simple Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ by Stephen Arterburn and Carl Dreizler, a treasure trove of creative and heartfelt ideas for showing affection. In their “Camera Sly” chapter, the authors highlight how pairing photos with personal captions can create lasting keepsakes that speak volumes about love and connection. With a little imagination, you can turn your favorite photos into meaningful gestures that resonate for years to come. You can grab your own copy here or anywhere you like to purchase books, but for now, here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Create a Scrapbook of Your Times Together

Dig out those amazing photos from your favorite moments and trace your relationship’s journey. Add new captions that make your loved one laugh, cry, or swoon. Presenting this scrapbook is like handing them a tangible story of your shared love.

2. Dive into Childhood Memories

Make a scrapbook from childhood photos—yours, theirs, or both. Add humorous or heartfelt captions like, “Here you are at 9, rocking your mom’s high heels. Pretty then, pretty now,” or “Bob at 11, putting up basketball nets because he was so tall. Nice legs!” It’s an instant trip down memory lane, infused with love.

3. Turn a Favorite Photo into a Poster

Choose a cherished photo of the two of you and have it enlarged into a poster. Add a loving or funny message for a piece of art that’s as personal as it is decorative.

4. Have a Professional Portrait Taken

If your budget allows, schedule a portrait session. A beautifully captured moment together is a gift that will only grow more precious with time. If you’d like help finding a local photographer, email Chanelle. As a professional wedding officiant, she works with some of the most incredible and talented folks.

5. Frame the Favorites

Take a loved one’s favorite photos and have them framed. It’s a thoughtful way to preserve memories they treasure most.

6. Send Photos Regularly to Long-Distance Loved Ones

For parents, grandparents, or anyone far away, sending physical photos regularly helps them feel connected to your life and love.

Camera Sly – Why This Matters

Photos are more than memories—they’re a way of saying, “I love you.” Whether you’re celebrating shared history or bridging the miles, these tangible tokens remind your loved ones of how deeply you care.

So, go ahead—be a little camera sly this week. Let your photos do the talking and watch the love shine through.

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin is the heart behind Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC, where she blends creativity, compassion, and a deep love for storytelling to craft unforgettable moments for couples. From intimate elopements in scenic Washington State to personalized vow-writing sessions, Chanelle’s mission is to help couples celebrate their love in meaningful ways.

As the host of the Now You May Kiss podcast, Chanelle shares insights and inspiration on love, weddings, and everything in between. Whether officiating a wedding, curating a bespoke retreat, or guiding couples through the journey of saying “I do,” Chanelle brings passion and authenticity to every detail.

Explore more at ChanelleCarlin.com and let her help you say “I love you” in unforgettable ways.

Advertising Your Love – Week 47

Love is a powerful message, and sometimes the best way to express it is to advertise it—literally! Inspired by Carl Dreizler and Stephen Arterburn’s 52 Simple Ways to Say I Love You, this week’s challenge invites you to create a personal ad campaign. The goal is to show your loved one just how much they mean to you in a fun and unique way, by advertising your love.

Creating an ad campaign might sound overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. This isn’t about expensive billboards or flashy commercials. It’s about using everyday tools creatively to spread your message of love. Whether your campaign lasts a day, a week, or even a month, it will leave a lasting impact.

Advertising Your Love – Step 1: Choose Your Media

First, decide how you want to deliver your message. There are so many options:

• Print Ads: Write love notes and leave them in surprising places like the bathroom mirror or their car.
• Digital Media: Send sweet texts, emails, or create a series of heartfelt social media posts.
• Broadcast: Record a voice memo, film a short video, or have a custom song created for your partner. There are songwriting sites AND local songwriters who will work with you to create a personalized song, making this a truly unforgettable gift. If you’d like a recommendation, please reach out to Chanelle.
• Outdoor Signs: Use sidewalk chalk to write loving messages where they’ll see them.

The possibilities are endless. Use the media your partner will enjoy most.

Step 2: Craft Your Message

Once you’ve chosen your media, focus on creating meaningful and personal messages. These can be lighthearted or deeply emotional, depending on your style. Some examples include:

• “This just in: You’re the best part of my day, every day.”
• “Top 5 Reasons I Love You—#1: Your smile makes my heart skip a beat.”
• “Breaking news: My love for you grows stronger with every passing moment.”

If you’ve opted for a custom song, work with the songwriter to include specific details about your relationship. This makes the song even more meaningful.

Advertising Your Love – Step 3: Plan Your Rollout

Decide on a timeline for your campaign. Will it be a one-day blitz, a week-long lovefest, or a month of little surprises? For a one-day campaign, consider coordinating multiple media. You could start with a love note in their coffee cup, follow with a sweet text at lunch, and end the day with a song recording.

A week-long campaign might involve one message per day. For a month-long effort, focus on spreading out your surprises to keep them guessing.

Why Advertising Your Love Matters

Love thrives on intention and effort. This ad campaign is more than a fun activity. It’s a heartfelt way to remind your partner that they’re seen, valued, and loved. By taking time to craft and share your feelings creatively, you show how much they mean to you.

Advertising your love in this way strengthens your bond and creates unforgettable memories. These small acts of love can make a big difference.

So, what will your campaign look like? Share your creative ideas in the comments below—we’d love to hear how you’re spreading the love!

About Chanelle

Chanelle Carlin is Your Celebrant for Life^TM. She is an ordained minister and professional wedding officiant with a passion for celebrating love and life. As the owner of Chanelle Carlin Weddings, LLC, she also coaches couples, believing that every moment of life and love deserves to be cherished. Chanelle works closely with couples who have cultivated strong relationships and ready to embark on the journey of marriage with a unique and unforgettable ceremony. As your Celebrant for Life^TM, she is dedicated to honoring all of your special milestones. Chanelle is also the host of Now You May Kiss ^(TM) Podcast. Her podcast focuses on your bespoke, outdoor elopement or intimate wedding Ceremony in the Pacific Northwest. She lives with her family in rural Okanogan County, Washington. You can visit Chanelle at www.chanellecarlin.com or on social media on FB, LI and IG.